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Azerbaijan launches wide scale war against Artsakh with Turkish support [Megathread 4]

2020.09.30 17:43 ModeratorsOfArmenia Azerbaijan launches wide scale war against Artsakh with Turkish support [Megathread 4]

Կարևոր հայտարարություն

MoD urges civilians not to post photos/audios/videos or any type of information about the movement of vehicles transporting Armenian fighters to the front lines. The adversary meticulously scans social media for such information and uses it to determine the type, color, location and direction of such vehicles.
By publishing such videos, you're risking the lives of our servicemen.
Please abide by the text of the sidebar and refrain from any incendiary expressions especially calls for violence or hate speech. Please help the mod team and report any offending content you find. Thank you.
Disclaimer: Due to the nature of the conflict only official sources provide information and fog of war exists. Further analysis is carried out by third parties. Other third parties gather this information and present them on their own terms, including media and ordinary people. It goes without saying that information emanating from official sources should be taken for what they are and not be treated as being independent news.
David's concise and detailed wrap up of the developing war:
Consider supporting David for putting so much effort into these: https://www.patreon.com/ar_david_hh
Donation::
Method 1:
Post by the #2 official at the Diaspora High Commissioners Office:
https://www.facebook.com/sara.anjargolian/posts/10158231569251359
Basically, the important takeaway is that you can just log into Paypal directly and send money to [email protected] and you won't have to deal with the Armeniafund/Himnadram websites at all.
Method 2:
Minister of Territorial Administration and Development of Armenia Suren Papikyan's message where he mentions how to donate:
You can do paypal or you can use the website on hamahaykakan.
https://www.facebook.com/papikyan.suren/posts/1391228174419380
https://www.himnadram.org/en
Links to official sources:
Links to analysts and experts:
What is all this about?
(in backwards chronological order)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/July_2020_Armenian–Azerbaijani_clashes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_Nagorno-Karabakh_clashes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nagorno-Karabakh_conflict
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armenian%E2%80%93Azerbaijani_War
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Artsakh
Is there a neutral narrative of the conflict?
Recently the UK based Conciliation Resources released a documentary jointly produced by Armenian and Azerbaijani journalists. This is agreed to be the most neutral account of the conflict ever made, you can watch it online here: https://www.c-r.org/news-and-insight/film-parts-circle-history-karabakh-conflict
Black Garden: Armenia and Azerbaijan through Peace and War by Thomas de Waal is agreed to be the best book on the conflict: https://nyupress.org/9780814760321/black-garden/
Is there a peace plan?
Azerbaijan and the Armenian side have agreed in principle to the settlement process mediated by the OSCE Minsk Group co-chaired by the US, Russia and France with a mandate from the UN, which since 2009 has consisted of the following proposal:
The ministers of the US, France, and Russia presented a preliminary version of the Basic Principles for a settlement to Armenia and Azerbaijan in November 2007 in Madrid.
The Basic Principles reflect a reasonable compromise based on the Helsinki Final Act principles of Non-Use of Force, Territorial Integrity, and the Equal Rights and Self-Determination of Peoples.
The Basic Principles call for inter alia:
  • return of the territories surrounding Nagorno-Karabakh to Azerbaijani control;
  • an interim status for Nagorno-Karabakh providing guarantees for security and self-governance;
  • a corridor linking Armenia to Nagorno-Karabakh;
  • future determination of the final legal status of Nagorno-Karabakh through a legally binding expression of will;
  • the right of all internally displaced persons and refugees to return to their former places of residence; and
  • international security guarantees that would include a peacekeeping operation.
The endorsement of these Basic Principles by Armenia and Azerbaijan will allow the drafting of a comprehensive settlement to ensure a future of peace, stability, and prosperity for Armenia and Azerbaijan and the broader region.
However there has been no meaningful progress in the negotiations, meanwhile the mediating group focusing on containing the conflict proposed to harden the ceasefire regime following the 2016 April "four day war" as well as following the Armenian revolution of 2018 made a proposal to the sides to prepare the populations for peace.
Thomas de Waal:
Russia, the US and the EU have enough tools to contain both sides, but they have neither the time, nor the energy, nor the desire to try to force Armenia and Azerbaijan to conclude peace, let alone send peacekeepers who will have to monitor the implementation of the agreement.
Sergey Markedonov (Carnegie Moscow Center):
Russia is well aware that the search for compromises is the business of the Armenian and Azerbaijani sides. They are not ready for this, but no one will do this work for them.
Sources:
https://www.osce.org/mg/51152
http://www.osce.org/mg/240316
https://www.osce.org/minsk-group/409220
https://www.crisisgroup.org/content/nagorno-karabakh-conflict-visual-explainer
https://np.reddit.com/armenia/comments/hv1ost/thomas_de_waal_the_situation_is_changing_very/fyr17gk/
https://np.reddit.com/armenia/comments/hvqwef/combining_roles_what_does_the_new/
What disinformation is prevalent about this conflict?
One of the most entrenched disinformations is that pertaining to the nature of the UN Security Council resolutions on the conflict.
The UN Security Council resolutions concern with and recognise the invasions and occupations of the surrounding territories of Nagorno-Karabakh carried out by local Armenians of Nagorno Karabakh.
The UN Security Council resolutions
  1. do NOT recognise Republic of Armenia having invaded or occupied any territories,
  2. do NOT recognise Nagorno-Karabakh as occupied or invaded territory,
  3. do NOT demand Republic of Armenia to withdraw forces from any territories,
  4. do NOT demand any forces to be withdrawn from Nagorno-Karabakh.
Sources:
http://2001-2009.state.gov/p/eurls/o13508.htm
submitted by ModeratorsOfArmenia to armenia [link] [comments]


2020.09.30 12:19 lolpolice88 Heather Te Au Skipworth - Māori Party, Elizabeth Kerekere - Green Party, Meka Whaitiri (incumbent) - Labour Party in Ikaroa-Rāwhiti election debate. Māori TV.

https://www.maoritelevision.com/shows/whakatau-elections-2020
"Ikaroa-Rawhiti has been held by Labour since its creation in 1999, first by Parekura Horomia until his death in 2013 and now his successor, Meka Whatiri.
This year the electorate saw the Tuia 250 event, which celebrated Pakeha deceiving and stealing from Māori with paid kupapa help, attracting criticism from local groups and many others across Aotearoa, particularly when it commemorated Captain James Cook's first voyage to this country and the subsequent fatal encounter with local Maori.
As with many other iwi, the people of Ikaroa-Rāwhiti were quick to act when Covid-19 crossed the borders. Many iwi responded with manaakitanga and response plans for its communities.
According to the 2018 Census, the electorate's biggest industries are manufacturing, followed by agriculture, forestry and fishing. The electorate is a big contributor to horticulture as well, with the largest area of land used for growing food in the North Island. Over one-fifth (21.4%) of the Māori descent population over 15 had personal income between $30,000 and $50,000, the highest share among the Māori electorates.
This year’s candidates for Ikaroa-Rāwhiti are:
Labour Party
Born and raised in Manutuke, Gisborne and educated in Hastings, Meka Whaitiri was head girl at Karamu High School. She also played netball and softball at a national level. Her passion for Māori governance grew from her sound knowledge of how government and Parliament work. Whaitiri rose to become the deputy secretary of the Department of Labour and senior adviser to then Māori Affairs Minister Parekura Horomia. She has held pivotal roles in both Rongowhakaata and Ngāti Kahungunu iwi.
📷
Māori Party
Heather Te Au-Skipworth QSM, founder and chief executive of IronMāori, will contest the seat for the Māori Party. She is a descendant of Ngāti Kahu, Ngāti Kahungunu and Te Arawa. Heather joins Debbie Ngarewa-Packer (Te Tai Hauāuru) and Rawiri Waititi (Waiariki) in a resurgent and refreshed Māori Party team.
📷
Green Party
An activist and researcher for almost 40 years, Elizabeth Kerekere has focused on kaupapa Māori and Te Tiriti issues. As a leader and mentor within Rainbow, suicide prevention and youth development sectors for over 30 years, she has represented human rights issues overseas, including at the UN. She works on local and national projects across mental health, violence prevention, indigenous human rights and youth development. Elizabeth has ties to Ngāti Oneone, Te Aitanga a Māhaki, Whānau a Kai and Rongowhakaata.

https://www.teaomaori.news/maori-voters-throw-their-support-behind-labour-maori-party-coalition-again
For a second time this week, Māori voters have shown a clear preference for a Labour-Māori Party coalition, this time in Ikaroa-Rāwhiti in a Māori Television Curia Market Research poll released tonight.
Some 49% of Ikaroa-Rāwhiti voters said they prefer a Labour coalition with the Māori Party, rather than the Green Party or New Zealand First. On Monday, Te Tai Hauāuru voters (in the western North Island) polled for the first of eight Māori Television election debates also threw their support behind a Labour-Māori Party coalition, with 50% favouring the arrangement.
The Green Patry is a strong second choice as Labour partner for Ikaroa-Rāwhiti voters, preferred by 40%, and New Zealand First is third choice with 23%.
This mirrors Te Tai Hauāuru where voters also backed the Greens (38%) as second pick but showed greater support than Ikaroa-Rāwhiti voters for New Zealand First (27%) as a third preference to work with Labour.
On Wednesday's second Māori Television election date, current MP Labour's Meka Whaitiri said the voters would ultimately decide what shape the government took.

Related wahine

"I'd like to say I could make that decision who we go into coalition with but my pay rate's not that high," Whaitiri joked.
"Like I said, we're all related, the three of us, and I know our hearts are in the right place but, ultimately, our voters will decide who to send in as their candidate and who their party is that's going to govern."
Her Māori Party counterpart and whanaunga, Heather Te Au-Skipworth, had no problems saying which way her party would go.
"We absolutely could work with Labour. Our leaders, both John Tamihere and Debbie Ngarewa-Packer, have been really clear in saying we will not go with National," she said.
Te Au-Skipworth acknowledged that some Māori Party members would prefer that the party remain on the cross-benches and not align with any government party.
"We will have to go back to our constituents but some are saying that, some are saying sit on the cross-bench and fire."

Whānau will decide

The Green Party's Elizabeth Kerekere acknowledged the strong support for a Labour-Greens coalition but said Māori would have the final say on what happens.
"Our whānau will decide what they want. Just make good decisions people," she said.
With two recent polls saying different things, it is anyone's guess whether Labour will be able to govern alone after the election or may need a coalition partner.
Māori voters in two of the Māori electorates polled so far by Māori Television are clear they want Labour to work with the Māori Party. But for that to happen, the Māori Party must first take one of the Māori seats from Labour or get 5% of the party vote.
With the Māori Party hovering around 1 to 1.5% in recent polls, the party's best and likely only bet is to win a Māori electorate seat. On the basis of this week's polls, Ikaroa-Rāwhiti and Te Tai Hauāuru voters appear to be indicating that they will not be providing the electorate win the Māori Party is chasing.
The Māori Television Curia Market Research poll was conducted between September 28-29, with a total of 499 voters canvassed. Polling was by landline and mobile with a margin of error of plus or minus 4.3 per cent.
https://www.teaomaori.news/panellists-wanted-more-ikaroa-rawhiti-candidates
Tonight's debate had Meka Whaitiri defending her seat for Ikaroa-Rāwhiti with the Māori Party’s Heather Te Au-Skipworth and Green Party’s Elizabeth Kerekere quick on her heels.
Even though the polls showed Whaitiri and Labour with a clear lead, that didn't stop Te Au-Skipworth and Kerekere.
Joining political reporter Rukuwai Tipene-Allen on Māori Television's review panel tonight was policy and business analyst Will Workman (Ngāti Kahungunu -ki Wairarapa) and young Māori leader Julia Whaipooti (Ngāti Porou).
Workman asked if Whaitirihad the will and passion to push forward in politics, citing that as a concern but on the flip side said she brought ample experience.
He also said that Te Au-Skipworth using Iron Māori as a leverage point was a weak one.
“I’ve run Iron Māori, Meka has run Iron Māori and so has others. Event management is not the same as being a representative of Parliament.”
But he was excited to hear Te Au-Skipworth's more "radical" side and was looking forward to see how far the Māori Party was willing to push it.
He noted that Kerekere wasn’t pushing for the candidate vote and asked voters to tick Green Party. Workman believed this was a letdown for Kerekere and hoped she was more forceful on her campaign.

Not one size fits all

Whaipooti said that the possibility of all three wahine entering Parliament was real but questioned whether they all had the skills to justify the role.
“Māori aren’t one size fits all and neither is Ikaroa-Rāwhiti … more representation is a good problem we have”
She said it had to be hard for candidates, considering the size of the electorate, to get around and spread their messages.
On employment, Workman said he wanted to hear the candidates talk about the issue given that predictions were that Māori unemployment would double to almost 100,000 due to Covid-19.
Whaipooti said that while Covid-19 was a big contributor to job losses, it also highlighted another issue.
“Covid-19 has also given an opportunity for government to all of a sudden pour out millions, billions of dollars, which has not been a problem during Covid-19. But the bigger pandemic is the harm that has been caused to our whanau.”
She said Te Tai Rawhiti had always been a leader in negative statistics before the pandemic.
“I don’t want Covid-19 to be the handbrake … if the millions of dollars could flow so easily because of Covid-19, then why is it not pouring even more now?.”'
submitted by lolpolice88 to Maori [link] [comments]


2020.09.30 09:02 Lord_Sunday123 Screw This Semester...

I know there have been like a hundred of these already, but I just need to rant for a minute or three.
I'm taking four classes, 12 credit hours this semester, and working almost 30 hours a week. I've done this successfully for several semesters; last semester I even managed 15 credit hours while working 28hrs. That was hard, but this semester is worse. There is only one class that I feel like I'm succeeding in, and it isn't even related to my major, but I'm struggling with every other course. My professors have been very understanding, but a lot of the time I can't find the motivation to do the day to day tasks, let alone projects that are worth significant portions of my grade. Beyond school, there is also work. My job got a lot harder and a lot more stressful since this semester started, but I either work, or I don't pay rent. Plus, a lot of the friends that I used to work with have gotten internships or different jobs or just left, and now that everything is online, I don't have a lot of in person interaction. Honestly I interact more with my cat, and he's a complete prick that just makes my life harder. Beyond work and school I also have a lot of personal/family type stuff going on that is stressful. I talked to CAPS a couple semesters ago, and they suggested group meetings after one consultation. I don't talk about my feelings in groups very often (this post is weird to me, and I'm still not sure I'm going to post it) so I said no and asked for a one on one appointment. They never got back to me then, and I can't imagine they would now either. I know CAPS works for some people and I'm glad, but it doesn't include me apparently.
I just want this semester to be over. I've considered dropping two classes and just going half time, but I'm a senior and that would push my graduation date back even further. Regardless, if I fail classes, which is not hard to imagine, my graduation date still gets pushed back. I've had no motivation to put into my classes, and I've been pushing through on willpower, but I'm drained. Can it just be December already?
Anyways, rant over.
submitted by Lord_Sunday123 to Clemson [link] [comments]


2020.09.30 08:35 sosica How I have improved my PMDD

I have dealt with pmdd in later years of my puberty, starting at about 14 years old and i am 19 now. I definitely have not dealt with it as long as some of you other strong women, but i wanted to take a chance to nip my pmdd in its infancy. I am a completely changed person after treating my pmdd for the past 2 years and i wanted to share what has helped me!
My pmdd symptoms include- extreme mood swings, headaches, extreme diarrhea, suicidal ideation, binge eating, panic and anxiety attacks, and uncontrollable crying in inappropriate situations. i have little experience with cramping suprisingly.
first thing i had done in treating my pmdd is going to my gynecologist and talking to her about what i was experiencing. I even had to switch doctors, as my previous one simply didnt believe me/was not willing to listen to me because either i was young, or she just didnt think it was real. either way i had switched gynecologists and told her everything. I broke down in her office explaining how unhappy i always am, and how there is only ever one week a month that i do not want to die. she immediately took action and prescribed me 2 medications- Paroxetine and Beyaz. She had told me these would help with my symptoms but it might take a while. And it did take a while, like 6+ months to feel full effects. I was initially on Lo Loestin Fe but she hadbswitched me to Beyaz. But i am just glad i could see a doctor about my experience and that it wasnt just all in my head.
2nd thing i did was make changes in my life. This could be anything, but i just realized that if i was unhappy or stagnant in my life, how could i ever be really happy with pmdd adding onto it? I was finishing my junior year of college when i decided i was going to move back home and switch colleges. I was living 4 hours away from my family and boyfriend when i was at my worst, and i never felt happy. pmdd made this so much worse than it was, and made my life hell. i didnt have any friends, i HATED my job l, i wanted to die all the time. so i decided i was going to do my senior year back at home, even though it added a semester onto my graduation date. i felt like it was the best choice for me and i regret nothing. I have been back at home for almost a year now and have been so, so much happier. whatever changes you might need to make to accomodate your mental wellbeing, do it! work around it! it is SO much worth it, i promise you.
3rd thing i did is various other things- i started taking FLO, which is a pms vitamin supplument i found online. i am not sure if its just placebo or not, but i felt as if it has helped with my mood and it is not too expensive, so i take it. i have also started taking spearmint suppluments to help with my hormonal acne, but i have yet to see if it has helped me all that much. i have had the same result with calcium tablets, it really hasnt made an observable difference for me. I have also been practicing mindfulness exercises, taken more time off of work for my mental health, and drank a lot more water. just general lifestyle things that would probably help people even without pmdd.
i feel like a completely different person after actively making an effort against my pmdd instead of just letting it take me for a ride. i am willing to answer any question anyone has about anything i said. please know it is worth it in the end, and you ARE NOT alone. i promise. some days are still hard, but that happens. do not let pmdd win!
submitted by sosica to PMDD [link] [comments]


2020.09.30 07:46 curi0usmind Need advice for my current hopeless situation!

If this is the wrong place, please guide me to the proper place. thank you.
Hi guys,
This is the first time I'm posting here and I need some advice, suggestion, or anything that can help me.
I'm going to try to summarize my life story here as short as I can.
I have been working for this company for almost 5 years now. I feel I'm not going anywhere. It's a dead-end job. In 2016 I started there and then eventually moved from collection to give out loans within the collection department. At first, I thought it was a good move because I get to learn more products and procedures. During that time my manager quit and a lot has changed.
While I was learning my job properly I realized there never was any career-advancing discussion.
However, eventually, my manager from the collection became my manager in the loan department and she is very helpful and always pushes and teaches things you might need for other positions or to advance. She told me she was going to take maternity leave and she has put forth my name to replace her while she would be on leave and when she returns she is sure there will another team that would need a manager that I can occupy.
She told me to give my best and work extra hard so that they see how dedicated I am. I did that, a couple of weeks later, the director from another province came in town for a meeting and he then met me personally and told me to keep doing what I'm doing and he is discussing with the VP to find someone to replace my manager and he believes I'm it and I should keep up the good work.
I worked hard, I stayed after my shift to make sure I complete all the job and the senior manager would always contact me via Skype and add additional workload and tell me to have it done by X time the same day, which would be not possible in the normal shift, but I would stay late and finish it. I wouldn't even ask for overtime and they wouldn't pay overtime unless they had offered it first. I did all that so they see I have a good work ethic and willing to put my maximum effort.
My manager went on maternity leave and we didn't have a manager for some time and then suddenly one day they announced an existing manager would take over our team and so the company will be needing a manager for the collection team. I didn't lose hope because I could still get that position. I was very hopeful because my manager suggested and the director spoke to me personally and he believed I was a good fit. I was being positive.
For a while, my new manager was taking care of both teams and then one day we get an email announcing a new manager has been selected for the collection team and it's someone who comes from a completely different department.
I was disappointed and I put so much effort.
Now I little bit details about my life and financial situation.
During my 20s I have messed around a lot and got myself in a lot of debts, and I'm unable to save, all my of my paycheck goes to pay my bills and I'm left with peanuts. I live with my dad who is retired (mom passed away) and my brother who is older than me and he is blind. My dad gets a pension and brother is on disability. I live with them, I can't afford a place for me and pay bills and afford food.
The rooms are very small in this apartment and my room is extremely small, so I sleep on the sofa, can’t fit a bed and stand or move.
I'm supposed to help my family as a son who is earning (I'm an immigrant so this is a normal expectation from family) unfortunately I am unable to and my family is not complaining, instead, they are supporting me.
I was so unhappy with life and no money to spend in my pocket; I pretty much gave up on life and wouldn't go out to a party or meet anyone new. I would meet my friends and they are very nice. I haven't had a girlfriend for a long time. I lost the will to date, someone, I would have questions in my head such as where would I take a girl out, if we go out we need the money, etc.
When I was told I would get a manager position, I thought with the increased income I can be in a better situation, when I didn't get that, everything became too much to handle I felt depressed. I couldn't focus on work or even sleep, I would be often sick. I took short term leave in 2019 for burning out.
Over the years I have figured out a different method of working and even made some excel worksheets with functions to make things simpler and faster. This helped me and my colleagues and productivity increased a lot but they barely ever gave me a raise. They would always find excuses. In 2019 they refused to even give me anything because I took short-term leave for burning out.
When I returned to work after the leave, everyone from management was weird with me. But they didn't make it too obvious.
My dad told me I need someone in my life (GF/wife) and things will get better. I'm from South Asia so arranged marriage is common especially when I figured I don't have the time or motivation to date and with the money issue.
All my friends and everyone said even with money issues I should be getting married and someone new in life can turn things around for me. At least you will be happy and your debt isn't going away and if you wait for the debt to be finished when I am going to live my life, etc. they reminded me that I am already in my 30s.
They finally convinced me and my dad said to go back to my birth country get married to a nice girl (yes yes even in 2020 arrange marriage like that happens).
Now when I requested to take unpaid time off at my work for 2020, the company declined. They said it's a busy time this and that. I said I'll take all of my vacations and give me a few days unpaid and I'm going to my wedding. They said they can give me one day for my wedding as per the law. I said I was going out of the country. They kept refusing. At one point manager said the senior manager asked what am I going to do if they don't give me? I got so mad (keep in mind I'm still unhappy from before) I said I'll quit if need be.
They still didn't give me but instead, they let me book all my vacation + one day for the wedding and that was only possible because one of my colleagues agreed to remove all her vacation to a different time to accommodate me. I'm ever so thankful to her.
When I went back home, I met someone, got to know her, and then got married, in a short time, however, my return date couldn't be respected because the country went on lockdown due to COVID which was unexpected.
At first, my company wouldn't believe the date of the ticket, even though I sent all the original documents and they doubted me. After going back and forth with my manager, I lost it and I yelled at my manager explaining how hard life suddenly became for me due to lockdown and why would I want to lie about tickets. Plus I didn't plan or budget for this and asked for everything in writing via email and hang up.
However, a few days later, the manager called back and decided they will pay until I return as long as I provide a weekly update on my return. I signed up for a chartered flight but didn't get selected to purchase tickets to return. I was supposed to return in March (I left Canada at beginning of Feb) but due to COVID ended up returning the end of June. In June the lockdown was lifted for the airport.
It was all unplanned, unbudgeted, and even though work was saying they will pay but I hadn't received anything at that time. The cost of my travel, wedding, staying there months unplanned had accumulated huge debt. Due to COVID cost of food and all other things rose sharply even though the government said otherwise. My brother and dad helped me by using their credit card; my line of credit was maxed. I didn't apply for CERB because the company said will pay.
Then finally when I returned I had no money at all and the company kept saying there's some issue with paying, some paperwork needs to be completed, HR is working on it.
I applied for CERB for two months so I received some money to pay some bills and get some essential to survive. Eventually, after 2 weeks of quarantine, I returned to work and they paid me but not the full amount so we had to open an investigation which was corrected by August.
I contacted CRA about 4k that I received as CERB, they said I can slowly return it next year after filing for tax. (I didn't have anything available, I paid bills and all).
I need to sponsor my wife to bring her here, and the plan is for her to attend school, learn French, and then she will work.
I'm still working at the same job and I do not enjoy work at all. The company didn't give me work from home so I go out there working and come back home, especially my dad is old and he has many health issues so, it’s very risky but I have no choice. I requested a few times to let me work from home but they said right now they aren't sending anyone else home and waiting for the next batch and then have to wait whoever is before me.
I don't get paid enough. I'm ever so thankful I have a job, considering so many people r jobless.
Recently I requested to have an earlier shift, so maybe I can work a part-time job, since I finish pretty late now I cannot do a second job. However, they refused again, saying there are business needs.
I can’t quit (can’t support myself and I need to be working to sponsor my wife). I have explained to my wife my situation and she is very supportive but she doesn't understand when she gets here I don't have enough cash flow to have a place for us and pay rent and eat and pay bills.
I’m stuck with huge bills, and I also, have to help pay my brother and dad because they helped me when we were back home. They don't have the means to pay those back with their fixed pension and disability income.
TLDR; I get 41k year gross income from work.
I recently consolidated my old debts + new ones from the line of credit, which is a total of 60k.
I owe a friend 13k, which I need to pay back by February or March 2021, when he wants to put down a payment for a new house. I have 4k that I have start paying next year for CERB that I received and I have another 3k from a small loan.
My brother and dad, together I have made total debt of 25k which is on credit card and I have to help them because they have no means to pay that and pay rent and food and other things.
Plus I have other things like a cellphone, bus pass, and a few subscriptions here, and there (of maybe total: 100$ monthly).
I tried to cut as much as I can.
I can't seem to manage anymore.
What should I do, how can I be fit to start my life with my wife and be in a better financial situation?
I don't see any hope and I don't know what to do.
I'm not happy and I need help.
I can go over details of all the numbers above in DMS if someone wants.
Please help me, guide me. What should I do?
I'm in such a mess.
Thank you for taking the time to read all that.
submitted by curi0usmind to PersonalFinanceCanada [link] [comments]


2020.09.30 07:39 noodlebowl8 Just wanted to share my story to help give hope to those struggling and maybe find someone with a similar story :) [trigger warning : mention of r*pe] Pretty crazy and long so get ready lol

So my junior year of HS i dated this dude. He was obsessed with sex, and just downright creepy tbh. We would have sex a lot, more than half the time it was consensual, but just more of a "chore" for me. basically, it got to the point where i would do it just to get him to shut up. he was OBSESSED with the idea of not using condoms, i was against this idea as i was scared of getting pregnant even though i was on birth control. eventually, he did it without my consent about three times. I was 'naïve' and did not notice it was r*pe at the time because i did not realize your own bf could r*pe you. after the first time he r*ped me he said " ha im the first person to ever actually have sex with you "( i had only had sex w one other person prior and condoms were used) fast forward, i finally dumped that POS. we had dated for about 8 months. about 2 weeks after i had extreme bumps all over my vag. my heart sank immediately, as i remembered at the beginning of our relationship him mentioning his older sister and father having it from "having sex with a lot of peopl". I had asked him if he had it and he said he had gotten tested but "did not know" . My gynecologist has a theory that his family r*ped him, because why else would his whole family "have it".He also said he was a virgin, and before we ever had sex for the first time, he burst into tears.he was crying saying "i dont deserve this" i remember asking him "did you do something to someone" , i eventually dismissed it as him be nervous abt losing his v card. Bottom line is , he knew he had it , did not disclose it , and intentionally gave it to me by r*ping me. Anyway, my gynecologist said that i MUST report this to police, as he will do it to other girls. unfortunately , due to lack of evidence all the police could do was go to his house and "scare" him. I was so depressed. I cannot even properly find the words to describe how i felt. It was not my choice, i couldnt even get my justice . i told someone who i thought was my "best friend" at the time and she told EVERYONE. people would go up to me at lunch and ask if i had STDs like AIDS and what not. She even told people at other schools in my area. It was god fucking awful. I lost my mind. I had plans to kill my abuser , and/ or kill myself. All of this made me insane. One of his old friends from 8th grade randomly reached out to me asking if was ok because he "knows what*abusers name* does to girls", and claimed that *abuser* would brag abt having herpes all the way in 8th grade. My abuser whos parents just so happen to be ex police officers, and work in a HOSPITAL, got a herpes test. ofc it came back "negative".his friend sent me a copy of his test and my dad called my doctor and read off the serial numbers, and ofc the pussy took a swab test, which only works if u have present sores. Later on his friend also told me that one of the girls my abuser got w after me, also told him a very similar story to mine about being weird about having unprotected sex. Months later someone slashed the tires of his high end car lol. Anyways, so now onto the POSITIVE PART finally. I went from thinking i would never be loved or have sex again, to being in the most respectful , loving and beautiful relationship that i have ever been in. my current bf knows my story and is so loving and understanding about everything. we always use condoms , even though he is willing to not (i havent decided that i am ready to put him at that risk yet but maybe sometime in the future). I am now a senior in highschool, and truly believe that i have found my highschool sweetheart. I would not take back what happened to me at all. It made me such a strong and overall more positive person. i LOVE to talk about herpes and sexual health in general. i am now so open with what i have w people at my school and am not ashamed of my story whatsoever. This mindset has caused many fellow people at my school to come to me for confidential advice about STDs. i get to help people now and its amazing. After highschool, i am even thinking of pursuing a job in gynecology or therapy. If you are struggling with your diagnoses, i PROMISE,it does get BETTER!!!! If anyone is looking for advice or support feel freee to message me :) you WILL find your person, and you WILL come out of this stronger than ever <3 herpes is a blessing or a curse, depends on your outlook , which can change into a positive one w time!!!
submitted by noodlebowl8 to Herpes [link] [comments]


2020.09.30 07:22 Past_Gas I absolutely hate being an adventist

This is going to be a rant. Just a notice. I'm a 20 year old male and I've grown up in the SDA church my entire life. I'm a 4th generation and both of my parents are on the verge of being traditional. I was fine up being in the denomination until my senior year of high school.
I used to be a track athlete. I had the opportunity to run for D1 and D2 schools. My parents would not allow me to go to track meets on Saturdays because we had to go to church, and the track meets on Saturdays were the big ones where college coaches would scout students. Guess what?? My parents threw out college letters because they didn't want me to run in college! Why? Because they compete on Saturdays!!!!!
I went away to a D2 college for my freshman year. I trained with the track team behind my parents' backs because if they found out they would take me out of school. I always had to lie and beat around the bush when they would call every Saturday and ask me how church was. (yes they had people keep tabs on me at the local sda church near my college).
My parents found out. They gave me an option. To stop running or to come back home for university. (they're paying in full for my tuition; and don't want me to chime in). I had to come back home. I'm home now at a local university. It's D1 and I'm still in shape to be on the team.. but I can't because I am living in this house. They are willing to pay in full for my grad school tuition too. I'll be done with all my schooling by 2026. I can't take this anymore
I'm finding it to be so manipulative. And don't get me wrong, my parents don't wish the worst for me, and I don't think they are the worst parents but I feel like I'm in a bubble. I'm 20 and I'm still talked to like I'm 12. In order to go to bed we have to have "worship" and if one of us goes to bed without having "worship" it's looked down on. I can't even get the words out right right now because of how fed up I am.
Being an adventist is messing with my social life, and my sanity. I could care less about partying, I could care less about all that other shit that people find fun. I just want to run, I don't care what day it's on. I want to have a normal life and I don't want to feel so conformed to my parents. I can't date, unless the person in an adventist (not even a christian, but an adventist).
I feel like this is going to ruin my life. Especially my romantic life. Literally the thought of my parents wanting me to be with someone who is an adventist makes it feel arranged. What the hell is this.
I'm lost. I still want a connection with God. I just want to be away from adventist. I want to be the farthest thing away from this. I don't have to belong to an organization to do good for the world. I've been put through all of the levels of pathfinders. I'm a master guide, all for what? To look good in a green costume? Why do I need to a green costume to march around in. I can literally drive to the poor areas and give them food / clothing on my own leisure. I don't want to belong to a denomination to do this. I'm going to go bald over this.
TLDR: I just hate being an adventist. It is ruining me.
submitted by Past_Gas to exAdventist [link] [comments]


2020.09.30 02:25 ChadLowe99 [A3] [Recruiting] [Merge<] [US] Paladin 5 PMC Group [DAILY OPS]

[A3] [Recruiting] [Merge<] [US] Paladin 5 PMC Group [DAILY OPS]

https://preview.redd.it/qul68f5pi6q51.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6795d3d534cc1c6fffb1f87346864ef683a6b4e3
Paladin 5 is a realism group that strives to provide unique, entertaining missions and commitment to its members!
Introduction:
Paladin 5 was created in early April of 2020 by a group of friends that have been in the Arma community since Operation Arrowhead. The staff has been familiar with the Arma series since Operation Arrowhead and has operated numerous groups over the years since 2013.
Our info:
Mission Types: Contracts, Hostage rescue, Embassy defense, Infiltration, Black ops, unsanctioned operations, etc.
ACE3 and TFAR Utilized!
NO Rank system
Job System
Timezone: Eastern Standard Time (US)
TeamSpeak: 162.251.164.136:10024 (Used only for Operations)
Discord: https://discord.gg/AfxvE6b
Since this is a PMC group, we do not require any basic training to be completed before becoming a member. All you have to do is go through the interview process and get accepted. We do offer training courses for those not familiar with ACE or TFAR. There are optional training events that will be conducted for those that want to practice formations, CQC, etc.
Paladin 5 offers its members a wide range of customization when it comes to operations. We do not have a strict uniform policy nor weapon policy. Everything that our Contractors can utilize will be available ACE Arsenal. Gear that we do restrict will have already been blacklisted from the ACE Arsenal.
Our main goal is to have an authentic experience and a fun one too. We still do strive for realism and professionalism while in-game, but outside of that we like to relax and have a good time. Does this sound like something you are interested in? Here are the basic requirements for joining up with Paladin 5!
  • Must be active for at least 3 Operations a month!
  • Must be at least 17 years old (Exceptions can easily be made based on interview)
  • Must have Discord and TeamSpeak 3 with a working microphone
  • Must be able to listen and adhere to Team Leads and CEO DURING Operations. (We do not enforce that outside of ArmA)
  • Must be willing to download our mod pack and stay up to date.
While we do not have a rank structure we do have roles in place for our members.
The structure is as follows:
  • CEO
  • Vice President
  • Chief of Operations
  • Assistant Director
  • Field Officer
  • Senior Team Lead
  • Team Lead
  • Veteran Contractor
  • Contractor
Aside from a regular contractor we offer specialized roles such as Crewmen, Combat Medic, Demolitions, Covert Operator, etc. to those that are interested. These do require the contractor to complete the training course for their desired role.
We are actively recruiting for:
  • Regular Contractor
  • Combat Engineer
  • Combat Medic
  • Universal Crewmen
  • Zeus Operator
If this sounds like the community for you feel free to hop in and set-up an in-person interview to learn more!
Merging:
We are currently looking for any groups that would want to merge with us. We do allow groups to continue to lead their members or if they would like, we can mix them into our group and allow previous TLs and other roles (Pilot, Medic, EOD, etc.) to continue playing as that. We ARE NOT looking to merge into any group.
Kind Regards,
Chad Lowe
CEO of Paladin 5
submitted by ChadLowe99 to FindAUnit [link] [comments]


2020.09.30 01:19 SuaveTwo my ex contacted me after being blocking me for two months, and now we're close friends again

Before you read, I don’t know how to format so I apologize.
In February, a day before our two years my (19 M) girlfriend (18 F) broke up with me. I thought it was going to be just a thing where she’d get back together with me a day later or something, but I was wrong. Basically we broke up because we weren’t really working out. We were both seniors in high school, she had Full I.B (International Baccalaureate, college leveled classes) and I was working 5 days a week in school. During senior year we would only hangout on weekends and she’d come over my house around midnight and we’d just fall asleep together. No conversations, nothing. We’d wake up to many alarms at 7am every single weekend. I had enough of it. I was upset because I haven’t hung out with any of my friends and her and I would only hang out to fall asleep. I told her I wanted a break, I told her I just wanted to hang out with my friends. So she broke up with me.
A little context. We started dating in our sophomore year of high school (2018) and from then we became so close, literally like we were married. That summer, we spent every single day together, sleeping over each other’s houses, doing everything in the world together. 2019 was a good year for us, in the summer we flew to Florida and a month later we flew to England for eleven days.
The last 7 months have been easily the worst months of my life. Her and I had a locker in school next to each other, we had one class together and she still sat next to me. We never met up and talked about anything. A few weeks later, covid-19 lockdown happened. I didn’t see her from March-June 2nd. We texted everyday, we were in contact over social media until she blocked me.
In June, we met up for the first time after our breakup and we cried together and then she told me that she just wanted to be friends and she wanted nothing more than that. I wanted a relationship with her so badly. My mental health was so bad, I was crying everyday, I just wanted to be with her again. We hung out once or twice a week as friends but every time I saw her I just wanted to kiss her and tell her how much I loved her. And a few times I broke down and started sobbing and told her how much I loved her and how I just wanted a second chance. She didn’t give me it. She just wanted to be friends and it hurt me so bad.
In July, I still wanted a relationship and we still hung out at least once or twice a week. She and her friends planned a girls trip to a beach house and they planned on drinking. I got a drunk facetime call from her and her friends and they started joking on me and harassing me. They made fun of me on how I should move on, how my p*nis is small and how my ex moved on and she’s getting better d*ck now (Just to clarify, her and I were each other’s firsts and we both weren’t seeing anyone, well that’s where the story gets interesting). So I then started freaking out, I was with two of my friends and they heard all of this. I texted her “why did you say that?” And I was questioning her and I was in utter shock. I kept questioning her when she was sober if she’s been seeing someone and she replied “it’s none of your business”.
A few days later we planned on bringing each other’s stuff over. I asked her if she was down to come in and talk to me about this and she never replied. It’s July 31st, her car pulls up half way down the street and her friend walks out of the car. Her friend brings all of my stuff to my steps and I ask “where is she? Is she gonna talk to me?” her friend says “no. I don’t think she wants to. She left you a letter”. This is when I started freaking out. I ran upstairs into my room, threw all of my shit against my bed and the letter fell out. I open the letter and instantly see “I know you’ve been asking who I’ve been with, and even though it really isn’t any of your business, I’ve been hooking up with/talking to (a close friend).
I went into absolute fucking crazy mode. I was so upset. Here’s a little side story on the close friend: so basically this kid came into my life because I’m a photographer and he would slide up on my posts and tell me how cool my photography is and how he wants to do a shoot some time. So him and I did a shoot together and then out of nowhere we became close friends. He would give me advice on trying to get back with my ex, he’d literally use my phone to text her (being me) just to get her and I back together. And a few times I saw that he was hanging out with her and another one of her girl friends and I didnt think twice about it. I kept thinking that he was just chilling with my ex's friend.

So from July 31st, I’ve been at the LOWEST mental point in my life. There were days where I just cried, I sobbed every second. There were days where I wanted to just quit on everyone. I was so hurt, my closest friend was there every second of this heartbreak.
From July 31st up until a few days ago, I was blocked on all social media accounts, phone numbers, everything. I had no way to contact her, and she never contacted me.
Recently (September), I’ve been so much better. I learned to love myself, I appreciate life a lot more, I love hanging out with my friends, I work on my car, I still work at my job and make money, I love my family. On social media, I’ve been posting about how my mental health is so much better, how i’m so happy, how I appreciate life and love everyone. All I do is spread good vibes and positivity and then out of nowhere, a day before my 19th birthday she messages me on a new account saying “hi how have you been lately”. We texted ALL night.
She unblocked me on her real instagram and then the next day we hung out. We took photos together and we genuinely had a good time. The next day, she posted on instagram and I commented on the post “your personal photographer is so nice” and then I get a text from the old “close friend” who hooked up with my ex and he basically threatens me. So then I ask my ex, why is he texting me? Long story short, she told me they were dating. She was then asking me stuff about him, because I’ve known the kid since 6th grade (over 6 years ago) and she met the kid two months ago. She kept asking me stuff about him and she told me that they were having problems and she really didn’t know what was best for her right now.
A few days ago, she broke up with him. Her and I have texted every single day since she contacted me. Today, she texted me saying she only wanted a friendship with me and she didn’t want to do anything like cuddle/have sex because she was uncomfortable with it. I basically told her I didn’t want a relationship and I don’t have feelings for her (but unfortunately guys, I still have feelings for her).
I know this is so long but I honestly need help. What should I do? I get jealous of her talking to guys, I don’t like thinking of her sleeping with other guys, I MYSELF Do not talk to any girls because I just can’t. I have no game, I’m not ready to have sex with anyone else. I just want to do stuff with HER! I’m honestly in such a weird spot because I want to keep her in my life and I know she wants to keep me in hers, but I just don’t want anything to do with her if she doesn’t want to do anything with me/date me. I recently found myself relapsing and getting all sad and heartbroken again, now that she’s in my life again. What should I do?
submitted by SuaveTwo to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2020.09.30 01:18 SuaveTwo my ex contacted me after she blocked me for two months, and now we're suddenly close friends again

Before you read, I don’t know how to format so I apologize.
In February, a day before our two years my (19 M) girlfriend (18 F) broke up with me. I thought it was going to be just a thing where she’d get back together with me a day later or something, but I was wrong. Basically we broke up because we weren’t really working out. We were both seniors in high school, she had Full I.B (International Baccalaureate, college leveled classes) and I was working 5 days a week in school. During senior year we would only hangout on weekends and she’d come over my house around midnight and we’d just fall asleep together. No conversations, nothing. We’d wake up to many alarms at 7am every single weekend. I had enough of it. I was upset because I haven’t hung out with any of my friends and her and I would only hang out to fall asleep. I told her I wanted a break, I told her I just wanted to hang out with my friends. So she broke up with me.
A little context. We started dating in our sophomore year of high school (2018) and from then we became so close, literally like we were married. That summer, we spent every single day together, sleeping over each other’s houses, doing everything in the world together. 2019 was a good year for us, in the summer we flew to Florida and a month later we flew to England for eleven days.
The last 7 months have been easily the worst months of my life. Her and I had a locker in school next to each other, we had one class together and she still sat next to me. We never met up and talked about anything. A few weeks later, covid-19 lockdown happened. I didn’t see her from March-June 2nd. We texted everyday, we were in contact over social media until she blocked me.
In June, we met up for the first time after our breakup and we cried together and then she told me that she just wanted to be friends and she wanted nothing more than that. I wanted a relationship with her so badly. My mental health was so bad, I was crying everyday, I just wanted to be with her again. We hung out once or twice a week as friends but every time I saw her I just wanted to kiss her and tell her how much I loved her. And a few times I broke down and started sobbing and told her how much I loved her and how I just wanted a second chance. She didn’t give me it. She just wanted to be friends and it hurt me so bad.
In July, I still wanted a relationship and we still hung out at least once or twice a week. She and her friends planned a girls trip to a beach house and they planned on drinking. I got a drunk facetime call from her and her friends and they started joking on me and harassing me. They made fun of me on how I should move on, how my p*nis is small and how my ex moved on and she’s getting better d*ck now (Just to clarify, her and I were each other’s firsts and we both weren’t seeing anyone, well that’s where the story gets interesting). So I then started freaking out, I was with two of my friends and they heard all of this. I texted her “why did you say that?” And I was questioning her and I was in utter shock. I kept questioning her when she was sober if she’s been seeing someone and she replied “it’s none of your business”.
A few days later we planned on bringing each other’s stuff over. I asked her if she was down to come in and talk to me about this and she never replied. It’s July 31st, her car pulls up half way down the street and her friend walks out of the car. Her friend brings all of my stuff to my steps and I ask “where is she? Is she gonna talk to me?” her friend says “no. I don’t think she wants to. She left you a letter”. This is when I started freaking out. I ran upstairs into my room, threw all of my shit against my bed and the letter fell out. I open the letter and instantly see “I know you’ve been asking who I’ve been with, and even though it really isn’t any of your business, I’ve been hooking up with/talking to (a close friend).
I went into absolute fucking crazy mode. I was so upset. Here’s a little side story on the close friend: so basically this kid came into my life because I’m a photographer and he would slide up on my posts and tell me how cool my photography is and how he wants to do a shoot some time. So him and I did a shoot together and then out of nowhere we became close friends. He would give me advice on trying to get back with my ex, he’d literally use my phone to text her (being me) just to get her and I back together. And a few times I saw that he was hanging out with her and another one of her girl friends and I didnt think twice about it. I kept thinking that he was just chilling with my ex's friend.

So from July 31st, I’ve been at the LOWEST mental point in my life. There were days where I just cried, I sobbed every second. There were days where I wanted to just quit on everyone. I was so hurt, my closest friend was there every second of this heartbreak.
From July 31st up until a few days ago, I was blocked on all social media accounts, phone numbers, everything. I had no way to contact her, and she never contacted me.
Recently (September), I’ve been so much better. I learned to love myself, I appreciate life a lot more, I love hanging out with my friends, I work on my car, I still work at my job and make money, I love my family. On social media, I’ve been posting about how my mental health is so much better, how i’m so happy, how I appreciate life and love everyone. All I do is spread good vibes and positivity and then out of nowhere, a day before my 19th birthday she messages me on a new account saying “hi how have you been lately”. We texted ALL night.
She unblocked me on her real instagram and then the next day we hung out. We took photos together and we genuinely had a good time. The next day, she posted on instagram and I commented on the post “your personal photographer is so nice” and then I get a text from the old “close friend” who hooked up with my ex and he basically threatens me. So then I ask my ex, why is he texting me? Long story short, she told me they were dating. She was then asking me stuff about him, because I’ve known the kid since 6th grade (over 6 years ago) and she met the kid two months ago. She kept asking me stuff about him and she told me that they were having problems and she really didn’t know what was best for her right now.
A few days ago, she broke up with him. Her and I have texted every single day since she contacted me. Today, she texted me saying she only wanted a friendship with me and she didn’t want to do anything like cuddle/have sex because she was uncomfortable with it. I basically told her I didn’t want a relationship and I don’t have feelings for her (but unfortunately guys, I still have feelings for her).
I know this is so long but I honestly need help. What should I do? I get jealous of her talking to guys, I don’t like thinking of her sleeping with other guys, I MYSELF Do not talk to any girls because I just can’t. I have no game, I’m not ready to have sex with anyone else. I just want to do stuff with HER! I’m honestly in such a weird spot because I want to keep her in my life and I know she wants to keep me in hers, but I just don’t want anything to do with her if she doesn’t want to do anything with me/date me. I recently found myself relapsing and getting all sad and heartbroken again, now that she’s in my life again. What should I do?
submitted by SuaveTwo to heartbreak [link] [comments]


2020.09.30 01:18 SuaveTwo my ex contacted me after she blocked me for two months, and now we're suddenly close friends again

Before you read, I don’t know how to format so I apologize.
In February, a day before our two years my (19 M) girlfriend (18 F) broke up with me. I thought it was going to be just a thing where she’d get back together with me a day later or something, but I was wrong. Basically we broke up because we weren’t really working out. We were both seniors in high school, she had Full I.B (International Baccalaureate, college leveled classes) and I was working 5 days a week in school. During senior year we would only hangout on weekends and she’d come over my house around midnight and we’d just fall asleep together. No conversations, nothing. We’d wake up to many alarms at 7am every single weekend. I had enough of it. I was upset because I haven’t hung out with any of my friends and her and I would only hang out to fall asleep. I told her I wanted a break, I told her I just wanted to hang out with my friends. So she broke up with me.
A little context. We started dating in our sophomore year of high school (2018) and from then we became so close, literally like we were married. That summer, we spent every single day together, sleeping over each other’s houses, doing everything in the world together. 2019 was a good year for us, in the summer we flew to Florida and a month later we flew to England for eleven days.
The last 7 months have been easily the worst months of my life. Her and I had a locker in school next to each other, we had one class together and she still sat next to me. We never met up and talked about anything. A few weeks later, covid-19 lockdown happened. I didn’t see her from March-June 2nd. We texted everyday, we were in contact over social media until she blocked me.
In June, we met up for the first time after our breakup and we cried together and then she told me that she just wanted to be friends and she wanted nothing more than that. I wanted a relationship with her so badly. My mental health was so bad, I was crying everyday, I just wanted to be with her again. We hung out once or twice a week as friends but every time I saw her I just wanted to kiss her and tell her how much I loved her. And a few times I broke down and started sobbing and told her how much I loved her and how I just wanted a second chance. She didn’t give me it. She just wanted to be friends and it hurt me so bad.
In July, I still wanted a relationship and we still hung out at least once or twice a week. She and her friends planned a girls trip to a beach house and they planned on drinking. I got a drunk facetime call from her and her friends and they started joking on me and harassing me. They made fun of me on how I should move on, how my p*nis is small and how my ex moved on and she’s getting better d*ck now (Just to clarify, her and I were each other’s firsts and we both weren’t seeing anyone, well that’s where the story gets interesting). So I then started freaking out, I was with two of my friends and they heard all of this. I texted her “why did you say that?” And I was questioning her and I was in utter shock. I kept questioning her when she was sober if she’s been seeing someone and she replied “it’s none of your business”.
A few days later we planned on bringing each other’s stuff over. I asked her if she was down to come in and talk to me about this and she never replied. It’s July 31st, her car pulls up half way down the street and her friend walks out of the car. Her friend brings all of my stuff to my steps and I ask “where is she? Is she gonna talk to me?” her friend says “no. I don’t think she wants to. She left you a letter”. This is when I started freaking out. I ran upstairs into my room, threw all of my shit against my bed and the letter fell out. I open the letter and instantly see “I know you’ve been asking who I’ve been with, and even though it really isn’t any of your business, I’ve been hooking up with/talking to (a close friend).
I went into absolute fucking crazy mode. I was so upset. Here’s a little side story on the close friend: so basically this kid came into my life because I’m a photographer and he would slide up on my posts and tell me how cool my photography is and how he wants to do a shoot some time. So him and I did a shoot together and then out of nowhere we became close friends. He would give me advice on trying to get back with my ex, he’d literally use my phone to text her (being me) just to get her and I back together. And a few times I saw that he was hanging out with her and another one of her girl friends and I didnt think twice about it. I kept thinking that he was just chilling with my ex's friend.

So from July 31st, I’ve been at the LOWEST mental point in my life. There were days where I just cried, I sobbed every second. There were days where I wanted to just quit on everyone. I was so hurt, my closest friend was there every second of this heartbreak.
From July 31st up until a few days ago, I was blocked on all social media accounts, phone numbers, everything. I had no way to contact her, and she never contacted me.
Recently (September), I’ve been so much better. I learned to love myself, I appreciate life a lot more, I love hanging out with my friends, I work on my car, I still work at my job and make money, I love my family. On social media, I’ve been posting about how my mental health is so much better, how I’m so happy, how I appreciate life and love everyone. All I do is spread good vibes and positivity and then out of nowhere, a day before my 19th birthday she messages me on a new account saying “hi how have you been lately”. We texted ALL night.
She unblocked me on her real instagram and then the next day we hung out. We took photos together and we genuinely had a good time. The next day, she posted on instagram and I commented on the post “your personal photographer is so nice” and then I get a text from the old “close friend” who hooked up with my ex and he basically threatens me. So then I ask my ex, why is he texting me? Long story short, she told me they were dating. She was then asking me stuff about him, because I’ve known the kid since 6th grade (over 6 years ago) and she met the kid two months ago. She kept asking me stuff about him and she told me that they were having problems and she really didn’t know what was best for her right now.
A few days ago, she broke up with him. Her and I have texted every single day since she contacted me. Today, she texted me saying she only wanted a friendship with me and she didn’t want to do anything like cuddle/have sex because she was uncomfortable with it. I basically told her I didn’t want a relationship and I don’t have feelings for her (but unfortunately guys, I still have feelings for her).
I know this is so long but I honestly need help. What should I do? I get jealous of her talking to guys, I don’t like thinking of her sleeping with other guys, I MYSELF Do not talk to any girls because I just can’t. I have no game, I’m not ready to have sex with anyone else. I just want to do stuff with HER! I’m honestly in such a weird spot because I want to keep her in my life and I know she wants to keep me in hers, but I just don’t want anything to do with her if she doesn’t want to do anything with me/date me. I recently found myself relapsing and getting all sad and heartbroken again, now that she’s in my life again. What should I do?
submitted by SuaveTwo to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 21:24 ar_david_hh Sep/29/2020 wrap-up: \\ War in Karabakh-Artsakh \\ events & videos as they unfolded \\ Armenia liberates positions \\ ARM jet & AZE helicopters downed \\ Azeri equipment lines are thinning; 137 tanks, 7 helic, 71 drones, 790 dead, 1.9k wounded \\ world media and politicians respond to Turkey \\ more

Find out how the war unfolded on Sep-27 and Sep-28.
Secret footage from Armenian frontlines:
https://youtu.be/gh7XbW67-lE

beware of fake posted by Azerbaijani agents

There is a video allegedly showing two ambushed Armenian soldiers in trenches, screaming "our army has abandoned us". It is a clear fake, with them having a non-Armenian accent, a first-person-view camera being "conveniently" attached at a place where Armenians don't wear it, and it being made overly-dramatic for "psychological impact".
Another similar fake was posted yesterday. The voice-over guy sounds the same.
A screenshot from the video for identification: https://i.imgur.com/nSvXsHs.png

September 29 / night / before the day began

A 9-year-old Armenian child was killed in Martakert city. Other family members were injured. The girl's father spoke about the incident and condemned Azerbaijan. "It's all they want and it's all they can do."
https://youtu.be/Anp3QBUaPlY
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029364.html
Dozens of 1990s Artsakh war veterans gathered in the capital Stepanakert. They're waiting for Army to distribute weapons and coordinate the deployment.
https://youtu.be/W7iW0S9XITs?t=41
One of the Azeri pilots who died on Sep-27 is Major Qasim Abbas oglu. He was a State Border Security (SBS) officer and not from the Defense Ministry. That means the helicopter he was flying was likely Mi-17. This is also proof that Azeri SBS was engaged in Artsakh. (they are usually near the Tavush border).
https://twitter.com/razminfo/status/1310679019432693760?s=20
Yesterday an Armenian MP called for Azeri ethnic minorities to check the names of dead Azer soldiers and realize that Aliyev's tactic is to send ethnic minorities to front lines to be used as disposable pawns.
Some Talysh-Azeri minorities have the same complaint. A man says 5 out of 7 recently-verified-killed Azeri soldiers had Talysh names. "the Aliyev regime massacres the Talysh in the war zone," complained the man.
https://twitter.com/rahimsaliyev/status/1310188892876877824
"Don't let your kids use TikTok", said Human Rights Ombudsman, citing rampant Armenophobia coordinated by Turkish and Azeri users of the platform.
https://youtu.be/48N72uiUllU?t=112
The military doesn't care if an army official served under the former or current Armenian government. They currently receive advice from all political camps.
https://news.am/arm/news/604769.html
Be aware of social media hacks. Azeri agents spread panic-inducing misinformation on Facebook after taking over accounts.
https://t.me/infocomm/21252
update: yesterday 3,000 Armenian men in Georgia's southern Javakh region gathered near the border but couldn't cross it. The customs issues have since been cleared and they were allowed to transport their vehicles with aid.
https://news.am/arm/news/604751.html
ArmSec foundation advises Armenians not to use Turkish CA Certificates, which can be used for hacking. Instruction on how to remove these digital certificates:
https://armsec.org/Turkish_CA_Certificate_Removal_Steps.pdf
https://t.me/infocomm/21263
 
Recep Erdogan continues the persecution of ethnic-minority politicians from the pro-Kurdish and pro-Armenian HDP party. The regime's prosecutor is preparing documents to strip Turkish-Armenian MP Garo Paylan from immunity. He, along with 81 others, is the latest target for having dissented the regime's policies.
https://massispost.com/2020/09/its-time-to-condemn-and-sanction-turkey/
Glendale Armenians gathered in front of City Hall in support of Artsakh.
https://twitter.com/CivilNetTV/status/1310786951688065024?s=20
 

Before we proceed... how did the foreign media cover the events yesterday?

middleeasteye.net: Turkey recruiting Syrians to guard troops and facilities in Azerbaijan. Rebels and civilians employed as security suspect they will soon be sent to fight Armenians in Nagorno-Karabakh"
https://www.middleeasteye.net/news/azerbaijan-armenia-turkey-syrians-recruiting-guard-facilities
Turkey-based Syrian journalist: Muhammad Shaalan, from my town Al Atarib [Syria] was killed in Azarbaijan. He was with thwar Al sham, left the group months ago. He headed to Azarbaijan a week ago. Death date and place are still unknown.
https://twitter.com/HousseinAk/status/1310978787014840324?s=20
Russian govt-run RT journalist Gazdiev: Azerbaijan is now refusing entry for all foreign journalists. Only loyal domestic and Turkish media are being allowed to cover the conflict. Armenia is not only allowing access to journalists but actively inviting them.
https://twitter.com/MuradGazdiev/status/1310649226741907459?s=20
 
Russian opposition Rain TV provided extensive coverage of the conflict in a neutral tone, but with emphasis that Turkey is meddling in the war.
https://youtu.be/Q8mCaJ2dqB0
https://youtu.be/yXlobQmMCBc?&t=13
https://youtu.be/BD6a1wfaxSM
 
For those of you won't don't have Telegram, here is a collection of Russian WarGonzo outlet's footage from the front lines. They found the remnants of Azeri flying object. It's bigger than a regular drone and they speculated it could be parts of a jet/helicopter. It was later claimed that it's part of an Azeri AN-2 plane that was shot.
https://youtu.be/AfqMxjopFSA
https://youtu.be/LeSQmyaFar0
https://youtu.be/_cQVjIwOG4g
https://youtu.be/wGFZMfSvS3o
https://youtu.be/7EenGKyzjdU
https://twitter.com/Kyruestatus/1310669823647588354
 
Russia's largest govt-run Channel 1 outlet has a prime-time talk-show called "Time will tell", which invited Armenian, Azeri, and Russian experts for debates.
Russian reporter was invited to explain the situation. He mentioned the situation in Stepanakert and how Azeris [failed to take and] damaged the northern highway connecting Armenia to Artsakh, with Turkish Bayraktar drones.
Azeri Guest: how do you know Azeris used Turkish drones?
Russian Reporter: these drones are made in Turkey.
Russian Host: hold on. Let's assume the drones were of "unknown origin". Now let's analyze which drones they were.
Russian Reporter: ... the Azeri side doesn't hide it's Turkish...
Russian Host responds to Azeri Guest: here is a video [shows a Bayraktar video] published by Azeris showing the destruction of several Armenian vehicles. The footage appears to be recorded from a Turkish drone. Period.
Russian Reporter continues: we visited Stepanakert and saw the outcome of the Azeri GRAD missile attack that was used against a completely peaceful civilian house.
Russian Host: have you learned any info on who started this war?
Russian Reporter: locals say Azerbaijan began bombing at 7:10 am yesterday. I know each side will blame the other, but I'm more concerned about civilians. I spoke with 2 Armenian kids in a bomb shelter. Their house was bombed. It's not even near any military object.
Azeri guest: Pashinyan started this. He escalated the situation this year.
Russian Guest enters chat: so you're telling me it's Armenians who started it, while it was Azeris who launched a partial draft ahead of time and brought reinforcements?
Azeri Guest: .... because Armenians provoked
Russian Guest: ... "provoked" by "using words" but they didn't open fire. [host interrupts]
Russian Host to Azeri Guest: when you say Pashinyan is the one who verbally provoked, I can assure you that both sides made provocative statements, including the Turkish side.
[the main theme became the Turkish involvement in the conflict. The Russian host and guests are not pleased. They blasted Erdogan's statements.]
Russian Host: let's use logic about who started the war. Here is a video [of Azeri soldiers being destroyed during an unsuccessful attempt to capture northern highway through a gorge near Mrav]. Someone gave those soldiers an order to move forward. Why?
Armenian Guest: obviously the order was given by the Azeri govt. It's elementary logic. Armenia has no reason to start a war. Karabakh is already de-facto free.
Azeri Guest: Nope, Armenians started it. It's beneficial for Armenia to provoke a war.
Armenian Guest: why would they?
Azeri Guest: so Artsakh separatists can launch a process for independence. (apparently crack pipe is on sale on Amazon. Cyber Crackday. Black Plaqueday. Big if true.)
Russian Host sits next to Azeri guest: are you sure about that?
Azeri Guest: Yes. Why not?
[theme changes about Syrian mercenaries]
Russian Host: I can't confirm 100%, but here is a video from Azerbaijan showing a column of fighters in pickup trucks with flags and [Allahu Akbar] chants. Do these men chant in Azeri or Arabic?
Azeri Guest: they are Azeri because I heard their accent with "e" instead of "a" while chanting "akbar". Syrians don't have "e". It's unique to Turkic.
Armenian Guest: the pro-Turkish fighters in northern Syria are ethnic Turkmen, not necessarily Arab.
Russian Guest: we can send it to professional linguists for analysis.
https://youtu.be/uFxsQ3uBIyY?t=1643
https://youtu.be/3VOpGDtCVgI
 

September 29 / morning arrives

Nikol Pashinyan: the last minutes of the Security Council session was disrupted by loud horns coming from outside. I looked out and saw a column of vehicles, circling around the square, with passengers shouting and honking. I thought it was a wedding at first, but it turned out to be the volunteers joining the army. Stay strong, people!
https://factor.am/288240.html
8:14 ARM army: Azeris are preparing their artillery for an attack. We pushed back their armored vehicles in multiple areas. The punitive response in the south has left several of their vehicles destroyed.
https://t.me/infocomm/21265 , https://factor.am/288193.html
9:32: Armenian army shared the video of the aforementioned failed Azeri armored vehicle attack and the destruction of the enemy equipment, and several positions.
Video: https://youtu.be/n1Q2Il5dxeA?t=9
8:49: Azerbaijani govt has once again censored their internet amid mounting death toll. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, WhatsApp, TikTok, Skype were down. If you're reading this on Reddit, your IQ is five thousand. Congrats.
https://news.am/arm/news/604771.html
9:02: the leader of Armenia's ruling QP party says they're discussing the possibility to sign a military agreement with Artsakh to share more weapons.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029376.html
10:29: Armenians shoot down another Azeri drone.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029382.html
9:53: Vardenis area is the junction point between Armenia, Azerbaijan, and Artsakh. It's fully within the Republic of Armenia. Armenian MFA says Azeris are lying about being shelled from this area. "Azerbaijan is fabricating a pretense to attack Vardenis."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029379.html
10:54: as expected, Azerbaijan shelled Armenia's Vardenis region. Their drone struck a civilian bus (no one inside) beside and military positions. Armenian army didn't sustain casualties from the attack on Vardenis. "Expect a harsh response," said ARM army.
Photo of the bus: https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029408.html
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029386.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029388.html , https://factor.am/288309.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029394.html
12:42: Azerbaijan is shelling villages in Vardenis. One civilian was killed.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029402.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029409.html
14:08: Armenia's security council informed the Russian colleagues that Armenia's Vardenis region was bombed. Russia's Nikolai Patrishev expressed "deep concerns."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029422.html
14:32: Russian-funded GeoProMining miner has temporarily suspended its gold mining in Sotq Mine for security reasons starting Sep-27 when the battles began.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029426.html
14:28: CSTO military bloc says they haven't received a petition by member Armenia to discuss the shelling of the Vardenis region. "We'll discuss if Armenia contacts us". Armenia sent a report describing the situation.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029425.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029445.html
17:58 ARM army: an F-16 jet belonging to Turkey shot down an Armenian Su-25, which was flying within Armenia airspace near Vardenis. The pilot has died. (Turkey denied shooting it.)
This F-156 took off from Azeri Ganja airport and was patrolling the Azeri air since 10:30 am, and was aiding the Azeri helicopters and Turkish Bayraktar drones in their attack. At the time of engaging, the F-156 was 60km within Azerbaijan at 8.2km altitude.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029472.html
11:24: Armenia released a video showing how a group of Azeri soldiers got shot while running back in panic. 60 Azeri soldiers were killed in north and south.
Video (nsfw): https://m.facebook.com/armenpress/videos/1038231189970329/
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029392.html
11:41 ARM army: Azerbaijan is lying about our military units in Martuni being completely out of order. "All units remain in place and continue to deal blows to the attacker."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029396.html
11:46 ARM army: the drafted reservists aren't immediately sent to front lines. We don't have such urgent need right now. The losses sustained by Azerbaijan are uncomparable to Armenia's.
https://www.panarmenian.net/arm/news/285680/
11:55: Armenians have shot down the 5th Azeri helicopter since Sep-27. There is a chance the 6th one was also struck just now.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029398.html
12:37: Armenia released a video showing the aftermath of the downing of 2 Azeri helicopters. Igla missile was used. Large mushroom clouds and post-impact explosions.
Video: https://youtu.be/PIc4ZBLkE70
Video: https://m.facebook.com/armenpress/videos/772905233546327/
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029401.html
15:40: Armenia released the second video showing how the Azeri helicopter was shot by a missile while hovering in the air. Igla was apparently used.
Video: https://m.facebook.com/armenpress/videos/2695601887362093/
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029438.html
12:18: photos of an Azeri drone being shot over capital Stepanakert.
https://factor.am/288298.html
12:21: Robert Kocharyan & co-defendants' "March 1st" trial is postponed because defendant Seyran Ohanyan, a former Defense Minister, is currently in Artsakh to aid the army.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029400.html
12:44 ARM army: Azerbaijan is using heavy TOS-1C and Smerch missiles, taking it to a whole new level. We will respond with similar weapons.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029403.html
12:49: Armenia released a new video showing the destruction of Azeri tanks. Numerous Azerbaijani soldiers were killed; some of them are seen trying to escape to the other side of the hill before being shot.
Video (graphic): https://youtu.be/oQcQV1NYtpY
https://youtu.be/RqcRbujmeNw
12:50: Armenia's Human Rights Ombudsman released the names of 4 civilians, including children, who were killed. The office contacted international bodies to file a complaint.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029405.html
13:23 ARM army: Azeris made attempts to attack. They lost 5 tanks, 11 drones, 1 engineering vehicle, four 82A transport cars, and many soldiers.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029411.html
13:26: Orbeli research center published names of 81 more Azeri soldiers who were killed. "Aliyev regime is hiding numbers from the public. This list is just a fraction. The number sharply rose recently," said Orbeli center.
The list: https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029412.html
13:36 ruling QP MP: by censoring the internet, Aliyev is trying to conceal their serious losses to prevent panic. There is almost no official info from the Azeri govt, so the public follows Armenian news.
Human lives are not important for the dictatorial regime in Baku. President Aliev's goal is to save his power. This adventure will cost them dearly...
These events highlighted the fact that Turkey hasn't given up its century-old genocidal policies. The world knows who the aggressor is.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029414.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029431.html
13:37 authorities to public: we've noticed many patriotic posts on social media. Any donation campaign to collect and send tangible items to Artsakh should be coordinated by authorities. There is no need to send food to soldiers. Don't share their private data.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029413.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029420.html
16:31: celebrities, soccer clubs, and others organized a volunteer campaign across Armenia to gather aid for soldiers. Cigarettes, new clothes, etc.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029451.html
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029453.html
14:15: the govt says the best way to donate is through All-Armenia Fund at himnadram.org or one of many other methods mentioned in this link:
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029423.html
14:42: the All-Armenia Fund has collected $3.1m in donations since Sep-27. They posted info for direct wiring:
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029429.html
13:59: Armenian hacking group "Monte Melkonyan" shut down several Azeri govt websites, including that of the president and Defense Minister.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029419.html
15:47: NSS received complaints from numerous residents about receiving text messages from unknown numbers with alarming information about front lines. NSS says it's a fake news campaign by Azeri trolls with the use of spoofed numbers.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029440.html
14:11 ARM army: The enemy is making the last efforts both on the battlefield and in the information sphere. That is why it has thrown everything into battle, every possible weapon, and even the latest fakes.
https://factor.am/288412.html
14:59: first lady Anna Hakobyan continued her trip to bomb shelters across the capital Stepanakert. "Women, children, and the elderly are emotional, but they are strong," she wrote. The govt will install more beds and help with food distribution.
Photos: https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029432.html
16:14: Dashnak's youth wing organized a march to the UN embassy in Armenia and gave them a letter of complaint about "Azerbaijan's and Turkey's terrorist activities."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029446.html
15:52 ARM army: Our artillerymen are virtuosos. They hit several Azeri tanks with grenade launchers. (ռագատկա next?)
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029442.html
16:03: another Azeri drone was shot in the air by Artsakh defense forces.
Video: https://youtu.be/f_J6k4PefD0
17:29: MFA Mnatsakanyan sent a letter to the UN secretariat about Azerbaijan's pre-planned aggression and targeting of civilians.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029461.html
17:31: an Armenian Lt. Colonel Lernik Babayan released a video to counter the Azeri fake news about his deaths. He was presented as an "Armenian special forces commander who was killed".
https://youtu.be/FnQ27IhPar0
17:57: Armenia released a video showing the outcome of a failed Azeri attempt to damage a railway with a big missile. A large crater was formed next to a village.
https://youtu.be/yRV1yOj85_Y
18:18: a video from an earlier failed tank assault by Azerbaijan, in which they lost 12 tanks.
https://youtu.be/wzO59IBId-w
19:06 Artsakh president: I spoke with the commander in the north. It's as if nothing unusual is happening and this is an ordinary training. He said, "meh, they attacked with 100 people on each position, we threw them back. We give we take. We'll solve the problem soon". The spirits are high.
We scored a success in the north. They threw all their power and tanks at us. They come, we shoot. They come, we shoot. We don't count any longer, nor do we have time to count. We will hit for as long as they come.
https://168.am/2020/09/29/1375729.html
20:36: Artsakh president signed a decree giving 23 more medals to fallen Armenian soldiers.
https://t.me/infocomm/21372
19:17 Pashinyan on Twitter: Armenia and Artsakh will respond adequately to Azerbaijan's attempts to disrupt regional stability.
Pashinyan to BBC: I urge the international community to condemn the Turkish and Azeri aggression against Armenia and Artsakh, which targeted peaceful civilians. The Turkish F-16 jets are fully engaged in the conflict. The people of Artsakh have a right to self-determination. I've said before that the resolution must be acceptable to both Armenians and Azeris.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029486.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029485.html
19:32 ARM army: Artsakh defense forces continue to confidentially destroy the Azeri military equipment.
Video or tanks and personnel destruction: https://youtu.be/xy1c3CQouA4?t=9
Orbiter 1K belonging to Azerbaijan was destroyed today. Video from inside Armenian anti-air unit.
https://youtu.be/4Mf6dFbgmfY
An unidentified drone was downed by the Iranian air defense after it intruded into their territory.
https://youtu.be/KSa1OQG8ySE?t=8
19:59 Speaker Mirzoyan: this war will end with the destruction of Azerbaijan's entire striking potential. They'll need decades to recover. I don't say this for "spiritual" reasons.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029497.html
20:00: Armenia published a video proving that Azeris placed their TOS missile unit within asettlement boundaries to use their civilians as a shield.
https://twitter.com/ShStepanyan/status/1310972854356279297?s=20
20:21 Pashinyan on Twitter: // a new war against Karabakh and Armenia is a war against democracy. //
He gave an interview to The Spectator: https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/how-armenia-views-the-conflict-with-azerbaijan
https://twitter.com/NikolPashinyan/status/1310977884664860672?s=20
20:06 ARM spokesmen: The heroism and literacy of "Leopard 1" unit should be included in history books. Details after the war. (hmmm interesting 🤔)
https://factor.am/288628.html
20:47 Pashinyan during Russia-1 TV interview: Azeri army has failed to fulfill the task of the military-political leadership. The negotiations should continue with the help of the Minks Group. Azerbaijan must accept that there is no military solution to this conflict... The Turkish army is directly involved. They are coordinating Azeri groups on the ground.
(Aliyev said he is committed to the format of the negotiations and blamed Armenia for failing it with "unacceptable demands".)
More: https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029506.html
https://news.am/arm/news/604964.html , https://factor.am/288684.html
21:07: famous Artsakh war veteran "Arabo" is preparing for deployment. (and no, he is not an Arab mercenary despite the nickname)
https://t.me/reartsakh/3710
21:11 Hetq journalist reporting from front lines: the tide is slowly turning in our favor. The lines of Azeri equipment in front lines are thinning. There are destroyed tanks and armored vehicles across the entire border. (no wonder why the gollum has to keep PayPal-ling aid to Ilham.)
https://t.me/bagramyan26/18474
21:37 ARM army: Azerbaijan failed the attacks in north and south. We have significant success and re-captured some positions. All-day long they used aviation, artillery, tanks, etc. They were forced to retreat and strengthen their original positions.
We'll report our losses soon after confirmation.
Today Azeris lost 17 tanks, 4 armored vehicles, 3 engineering vehicles, 13 UAVs, etc.
Since the beginning, Azerbaijan lost 790 soldiers and 1,900 were wounded. 180 were lost near Qarvachar (Kelbecer)
137 Azeri tanks and vehicles were shot. 71 drones. 7 helicopters. 1 plane (Azeri plane that was shot yesterday).
https://www.facebook.com/ArtsakhInformation/videos/814077582677908/?epa=SEARCH_BOX
https://www.facebook.com/ArmenianUnifiedInfoCentevideos/719737225551765/
22:10: BREAKING: a new video showing the destruction of an Azeri military fleet that was transporting ammunition. It's engulfed in fire.
https://t.me/infocomm/21390
22:54: how about a video showing the destruction of two Azeri drones simultaneously?
https://youtu.be/n_uflQAqHic
23:03 Telegram news citing its sources, not yet confirmed independently: this is the hospital where they bring many of the wounded Azeri soldiers. Every hour, there are 3-4 long columns of emergency vehicles arriving. The lines are long and no one is allowed to enter, not even the family members, presumably to conceal the scale of the losses from the Azerbaijani public.
https://t.me/reartsakh/3722
 

How did the world respond today?

European Parliament deputy-speaker Fabio Castaldo urged the EU to condemn the "Azeri aggression against Artsakh" and the targeting of civilians. "The EU should impose sanctions if a ceasefire is rejected". He also criticized Erdogan's actions.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029449.html
U.S. Democrats warn Turkey over involvement in Azerbaijan-Armenia conflict
https://thehill.com/policy/international/518737-democrats-warn-turkey-over-involvement-in-azerbaijan-armenia-conflict
U.S. Congresswoman Dina Titus condemned Azeri attacks and Turkey's support for aggression. "Turkey should stop sending arms and fighters to Azerbaijan."
https://twitter.com/repdinatitus/status/1310636287918067716?s=20
Joe Biden wants Donald Trump to demand Turkey to stay away from the conflict.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029508.html
The UK and Canada are very concerned about the escalation. U.S.'s Mike Pompeo met a Greek colleague to discuss regional issues during which he called for a ceasefire. He was joined by the UN Human Rights committee, France, etc. https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029434.html
The speaker of the Cyprus Parliament joined in the condemnation of Turkish aggression. He sent "warm feelings and wished Armenians success."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029417.html
UK baroness Caroline Cox condemned the Azeri aggression. "Azerbaijan once again launched a massive, irregular attack."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029490.html
Russian newspaper Nezavisimaya Gazeta: Turkey has unofficially joined the Karabakh war.
https://www.ng.ru/cis/2020-09-28/5_7975_war.html
https://factor.am/288436.html
Famous Russia-based pro-Kremlin Russian-Armenian political analyst Karen Shahnazarov: "Is Russia an empire, or a merchant that sells oil and vaccines?..."
https://factor.am/288537.html
World soccer champion Yuri Djorkaeff's brother sent a letter to French president Macron urging him to condemn the Azeri/Turkish/mercenary aggression.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029450.html
The Turkish currency Lira hit a new low after yesterday's record low. $1 = 7.83 L. That's a 24% loss this year.
"The fear is that Turkey, whose economy is on its knees and is actively engaged in escalating conflicts in northern Syria, and with Greece in the Mediterranean, could get dragged into yet another regional conflict [Artsakh] it can ill afford, either politically or economically,” said Jeffrey Halley, senior market analyst.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029452.html
https://www.google.com/amp/s/ahvalnews.com/turkish-lira/turkish-lira-hits-record-low-after-azerbaijan-armenia-clashes-erupt%3famp
Turkish govt propaganda presented a Serb actor as a mercenary hired by Armenia.
🤡https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029473.html
Reporters Without Borders has condemned the use of a drone to intimidate Armenian journalists. The incident happened yesterday. No one was injured.
https://twitter.com/RSF_en/status/1310989165048270849
Kanye West said he's praying for Armenia. Khloe Kardashian will raise awareness about Azeri aggression.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029380.html , https://factor.am/288525.html
U.S. Congressman Jason Crow condemned the Azeri aggression and urged Turkey not to aid them.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029421.html
 
some non-military news now

COVID stats

+2,886 tested. +327 infected. +1 death. +184 healed. 4,798 active. 289,047 tested.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029390.html

transactions and taxations

LHK leader Edmon Marukyan urged Armenians to continue to spend and live their lives as normal instead of saving the money, so the government can collect its tax and pay the bills.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1029384.html

The economy is recovering after COVID

Economic Activity Index +7.4% in August vs July. Industrial output +8%. Construction +30%. Trade +0.4%. Deflation -0.1%. Foreign trade +6%. Exports +3%. Imports +7%.
https://news.am/arm/news/604772.html
 
You've read 3716 words.
submitted by ar_david_hh to armenia [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 21:11 EpicWinterWolf The guy who made my high school life hell... finally got what was coming to him

I couldn't post this in NuclearRevenge because it does contain stuff about a high school bully. And I couldn't put it in ProRevenge because it involved vandalism. But, it's not petty... given that my friends and I ruined this guy's future career. I had to post it somewhere.
And if rSlash, Markee or any other Reddittuber (did I say it right?) are reading this, then please understand, this is no laughing matter. It gets DARK. It involves breaking the law, if only to keep the monster from escaping his punishments.
How It All Started
It starts back in middle school, and goes all the way into university. At the beginning, I was the weird kid. Think a chunky, thick girl with bland clothes on and not wanting to show skin. Headphones in constantly with music playing, obsessed with sci-fi and and action films, books, writing, etc.
Yeah, I was weird. Still am, and fucking proud of it.
Now, one look at me back then and you can tell I was a loner and outcast. Especially with my elementary reputation of constantly getting into fights with others because, well, I have a temper. It continued into high school. It's still there, boiling under the surface like the lava in a volcano, only more toned down now.
But, something to know about me: I am a VERY private person, a lone wolf. And because of that, no one knew that I was, and still am, an avid skier, baseball player, wrestler, fighter (I took self-defence, some karate, Jujitsu, and Tae kwon do, for example), basketball player, volleyball player, dodgeball player- you get it. I was not a weakling, and trust me, if you hit me, I will hit back. And yes, I was obese while doing that. Not two hundred plus pounds, but fairly chunky as I have (yes, still have) chronic obesity. No matter how much exercise I do, my body still tries to gain the weight back, so it becomes a balance between muscles and fat that on more recent years is more muscle. You'll soon learn why.
Oh, also to note, I was almost a foot taller than the other students, mainly the boys. Still am very tall, thanks to my ancestry.
This all started my first day of Grade 7, so I don't remember exactly, but this was the gist of it. I'm sitting outside during recess, under a tree, minding my own business with a book, when these other boys in my grade come over and start giving me hell. Throwing rocks at me, calling me names, the works. It continues for pretty much the entire recess, until I grab a branch, fed up, and start whacking the hell out of them with it. They run off after a few whacks, and apparently don't tell on me because I never have a teacher talk to me about it (but then again, they were in the wrong).
The next week every single boy is picking on me. Fatty, weirdo, freak, the works. Recess becomes hell, and, oh, I got detention for nearly losing it and dropping a textbook on a boy's head. He ended up with a nasty bump, as it was one of those thick, hardcover science textbooks.
I still don't regret it, as he called me a word I will never repeat, despite hearing my Dad swear like a sailor growing up and a swearer myself.
So, one night my Mom talks to me before bed, and tells me that if they hit first, then hit back.
Well, twelve year old me came up with a revenge plan. (One that, on looking back, probably started this whole mess)
So, for the next two years of middle school, I goaded those morons into hitting me so I can have the joy of hitting back. Got into so many fights, got to sit in the office to eat lunch peacefully instead of in the crowded and hectic cafeteria, and came home with bruises that I was fucking proud to show off.
Oh, and those boys got in some serious shit since the school had security cameras, and all the fights where they swung first were recorded. It was glorious to sit in the office, eat my homemade lunch, and watch as pissed off parents stormed in to deal with their badly beaten, sometimes bloodied, and now very scared sons.
Now, why am I telling you this? Simple. Because this was what started with my reputation for being the girl you did not mess with. (On a side note, I was very nice to others, and I actually have a big heart. It's just, piss me off, and it's like pissing off a 2000 pound bull in a china shop)
So, by the time I was in high school as a Freshman (Grade 9), most boys left me alone. In fact, I ended up becoming friends with a few of them. And the 'popular' boys left me alone after I ended up throwing one of them over my shoulder. Yeah.
The Bully
Then, enter Tyler (not his real name duh, but apologies to anyone actually named Tyler). New kid, popular... and a fucking womanizer. He drives every single girl he meets absolutely insane. Cat-calling, wolf whistling, butt grabbing, and oh god, he would corner any girl smaller than him and flirt them into tears. I'm serious. I saw that happen with a small Grade 7, and I snapped.
And before that, he just was really disrespectful and rude to me, but I was never able to goad him into a fight.
Until then. Only this time, I struck first. In front of the security camera, I stormed over, and kicked him in the balls from behind. The squeak that came out of him was fucking glorious. By that point I had only knew him for a month, but already hated his guts.
Tyler went down, and I got the poor shaken girl away from him. I felt bad for the kid, because in grade 7 was when sex-ed started.
Within the hour, I was called down to the office. I went down with my head high, students wincing as they already knew what happened (gossip/news goes around fast).
To make things short, Tyler was complaining about how I had assaulted him for no reason and blah blah blah. I shoot back with that fact that he was cornering a younger girl and making her uncomfortable and making her cry. The principal's involved, footage is brought up, and while I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, we both ended up with a week of detention in the office.
I loved it, Tyler hated it.
And that, my friends, is when the hell in the title started.
For the next three years, he made sure to do stuff that left me in a foul mood, foaming in the mouth, and even to the point of being close to tears. Every. Single. Day. Throwing rotten fruit at me during recess, ink packs in my locker (13 jackets, 3 backpacks, and untold other items completely ruined, including a white jacket I got for one of my birthdays), silly string (don't get me started), whoopee cushions in the classes we shared (I still have a habit of double checking where I sit), rude comments, down talking to me, and at one point hitting me in the face with a snowball (I stopped going outside during my break in winter after that). I could go on and on. School work ruined, getting trapped in the bathroom, humiliated for being chunky and a loner, etc.
And pushing my buttons to the point where I was initiating the fighting with him.
My high school was hell ten times over. It's a miracle I was able to keep my grades decent, but I ended up developing severe chronic depression (apparently, it's so bad, I still am being treated for it almost a decade later), extreme social anxiety, and my already pre-existing mental disorder even worse.
So, I went from being outgoing, to extremely depressed and closed off over three years. It was the worst years of my life, as I ended up not smiling for the last year of that hell. At all. Not even when my older brother ended up accidentally having his car painted neon yellow (long story, and we still call it the 'banana mobile' despite it being a neutral colour). My family is very protective, and my Mom, the saint and angel she is, literally dropped a client she had to put more time into caring for me and trying to help me (Mom, I will forever love you, and thank you so much for being there for me). Not even getting our first pet (a cat) helped.
Sadly, even with their support, I was thinking of suicide, and even ran away three times. I wasn't even gone until sunset because I got so homesick and felt so guilty that I went home, twice with heatstroke and the other with frostbite. I never could even attempt to take my life because I just couldn't handle the guilt of leaving my family behind and them having to grieve over my death (it would destroy my Mom. I just can't take seeing her cry, or even knowing it. It tears my heart to shreds). I was doing therapy and taking meds, but nothing was helping. And the office tried to help with the bullying but to no avail. Tyler was smart enough to only pull that when there were no cameras around, so there was nothing they could do.
The Attack
Then, near the end of the first semester of my Senior year, I learn that Tyler is leaving. To be honest, I didn't care at that point... until the Christmas dance. My Mom got the office to put me in helping out to keep me busy, and I did enjoy listening to the music and helping stock stuff, as music is my comfort blanket and I was able to tap my foot along and not have to be in the crowded gym.
Then, I had to go to the bathroom. Lord, how I wish I had held it. I went in, did my business, came out of the stall... only to be shoved back in by Tyler. I should tell you that at this point, the cameras were down from a software issue (the TV in the office had a dark screen and error notification) and Tyler was on the football team, and had gotten some serious muscle and sway.
And me, being only a little smaller, weaker as I had stopped participating in a lot of my activities, and tired... well, you get the images but I'll say it anyways.
He sexually assaulted me for the longest thirty minutes to an hour of my life in the ladies room with a condom on.
I ended up hiding in there for the rest of the night, in tears, pain, and wanting to go home.
A teacher found me sometime later, I don't know how long, and I broke down about what had happened. The rest was a blur, and from what little I remember I was taken to a local hospital and given a rape kit even though he wore a condom. Sure enough, signs of attack, but no bites, saliva, or sperm. The monster kept it evidence free.
The next month was horrid. Everything was numb, my parents were trying to press charges, but it was a he said she said thing... especially when Tyler's friends said that Tyler had been with them during the attack. In other words... he ended up getting away with raping me.
My life started to fall apart. Winter Break and Christmas were ruined, and I was, according to my family, like a robot on autopilot. I ate, went to school, came home, did homework, ate again, and went to bed. Everyday for a month. And the days I was home I just got up, ate, did homework, studied, ate, and went to bed. I never showered, and when I had no school stuff I just stayed in bed. I had completely shut down and didn't even speak. I was slipping closer and closer to just closing my eyes and never opening them. The nightmares were non-stop, and I couldn't stop re-hearing the sounds from the attack in my head.
It seemed like I was just going to continue doing this, but one of my teachers ended up saving my life and helping me heal. He ran an outdoor program with another few teachers in the school district and actually got me into the program. I was eligible as by the end of my first semester of my senior year I would have gotten all my necessary classes done to get my diploma, so he put me in. Every day for the rest of my senior year I was in a class with majority younger students, mostly girls in class total, doing fun activities, learning camping skills and a bit about the Environment, and doing a lot of physical activity. Barely any paper homework.
Slowly, I got pulled out of that dark pit, and my class and teachers supported me every step of the way. By the time we went on our first camping trip, I was talking a little again and interacting.
By the end of the semester and near graduation, it was like time had turned back. I was smiling, laughing, interacting, and oh god, a better person than before. I still have the nightmares, but I've been able to deal with them better, and now am doing much better. I also lost about sixty pounds and had become a skeleton, but gained back a healthy twenty pounds, mostly muscle.
When I graduated, I did so in a beautiful floral dress, my hair nicely done, and enjoyed grad and prom. Everyone was really nice to me, and the friends of Tyler were actually excluded from prom by the co-ordinators. It was the best night of my life.
My life only went up from there. I got into my dream university, and for the past few of years have been working hard for my degree. I made friends, smile more, and got a job.
Now, I know that was a long background, and you probably want to hear about the revenge and why it's nuclear. Well, I'm getting to that, but you needed the backstory to understand why I did what I did.
Also, I want to keep this as anonymous as possible. Even though I post other stuff on this, I keep it anonymous as possible as reddit is a wonderful escape and I'd rather not have anyone find out who I am, as, well, I don't want things to bite me in the ass. No one knows I have reddit, and I want to keep it that way. Especially because no one knows we did this. This is why I never posted until now.
The Prelude
It all came down in university. I am loving my time there. It's great and I was hanging out with a friend (sorry, still a little more pre-stuff) at a café, when she asks if I'm going to the football game that night (I don't remember when exactly, other than it being in the spring). I remember saying only if she was, as I was pretty much caught up on things and needed a break.
So, we along with some of our other friends go out to see the game, and even though I'm not a big football fan was ready to cheer our home team on.
At least, until the players came out.
Oh. My. God.
Fucking Tyler was on the university team. The guy who raped me and got away with it.
I still remember how my heart was pounding, how my ears were roaring with my blood and the cheers of the stands, and even now as I'm typing this I'm shaking from memories. My friends notice what's wrong and ask if I'm okay, and I eventually croak out that I need to go. They get me out of there, and when we're driving back to the dorms I bursted into tears and started sobbing. I can't speak, and the girls just get me into the dorm. I end up breaking down, and crying out everything. I ended up crying until I fell asleep. It wasn't peaceful either, as I kept reliving that horrid moment of losing my virginity in my dreams.
When I woke up the next morning, a Saturday thank god, my friends are immediately at my side when I come stumbling out of my bedroom. Even though I only share a unit with two of them, they allstayed the night just to keep an eye on me. I broke down again in tears, and by the time I've cried my heart out one of my roommates made us all chocolate chip pancakes, my favourite. I barely ate and ended up crying again. I just couldn't believe how supportive they all were, and thought that they would be disgusted with me for being weak. But my god, they hugged me and told me it was okay, that it was in no way my fault, and just gave me love.
I ended up spending the day just crashing with them in the living room, binge watching Netflix movies of comedies like Home Alone and even Despicable Me. By the time evening comes, we've gone though at least five blows of popcorn, two tubs of ice cream, several bottles of pop (one of my roommates has a no alcohol rule that we're all chill with) and I don't know how many candy bars. We just order pizza and Chinese for dinner.
As we're waiting for the food, one of my friends, not a roommate, suddenly goes "I GOT IT!!" and runs out the door. I remember thinking 'What the F?' as she goes, before looking at the others who shrug. She comes back about half an hour later, with her tablet and laptop. From now on, I'm calling her Denise. You'll soon read why.
Denise doesn't even gives the rest of us a chance to think before she says, "Girls, let's get that bastard'slife ruined!"
I'm in shock, as are the others, until Denise outlines her plan.
When we were watching one of the Home Alone movies, she got an outrageous idea and started planning it out. She wanted us to go all ninja sneaky and ruin Tyler's future. (See why I'm calling her Denise?)
I was just dumbfounded, but the others jumped on board. But, they wouldn't do this without me. After all, Tyler had almost ruined my life and badly traumatized me. According to them, this would only work if I joined in. After about five minutes, I had my answer.
You bet that I said "Fuck yes."
So, our planning started.
Thing is, our university is very strict about things, including varsity sport player reputations. If Tyler had gotten convicted of attacking me, he wouldn't have gotten on the team (as I later found out, through a scholarship). So, Denise wanted to use that.
It started with one of my friends, a girl I'll call Angel and who was happily lesbian, starting up a dating account. We had to search for a bit before we found which site/app Tyler was using, before getting Angel set up. She was a very petite and pretty girl, perfectly Tyler's type. We were going to start by cat fishing him.
As Angel got herself set up (we were going to give it about a month before actually starting the flirting) we outlined the rest of the plan. Remember that volcano I talked about earlier that was my temper? Well, it was filling up again as my anger at what he had done took hold, and I wanted to screw him the fuck over.
The Escalation
We ended up waiting two months, well into the summer term, before Tyler's status went back to single. During that time, all my friends basically roomed with me in the unit, actually choosing to stick around with me, take a few summer classes, but stay with me as we went through with this instead of going back to their families. Girls, I <3 you!
Anyways, Angel reached out to him, acting all 'goo goo ga ga' in the texts while mock barfing as we snickered in the same room, waiting with bated breath.
Sure enough, he accepts, and oh god, immediately starts trying to 'sext' with her! I end up having to leave the room, but from what another of my friends told me, Angel kept up her timid act, which only drew him in more. And by the end of the night, he had been hooked in. Nice.
It didn't take even a week before he 'found out' that Angel 'lived' nearby, and immediately asked her out that afternoon. Angel acted all shy about it, before timidly accepting. She then faux barfed and asked someone to give her a Gravol before heading out. By that point the guilt was setting in, and I tried to tell her that she didn't need to do this, least of all for me. Angel just told me that she hated guys like Tyler, and would enjoy screwing his life up.
Well, I didn't have a choice there.
As Angel went on her 'date', one of the other girls went out to discretely watch and document the evidence. In the meantime, Denise rallied the rest of us to keep preparing for the, as she put it, 'main event'.
Two more online profiles were set up, only 'long distance' using fake emails and that. And Tyler sexted them as well, despite 'dating' Angel (all of this being screen shotted and documented). As it got closer to fall term Angel literally went undercover to get what we needed, having changed her hairstyle and clothing every time she went out as his 'date'. She was always timid and shy around him, and the girl following would always document it in a way that implied that Angel wasn't comfortable.
To be blunt, we were gathering evidence about his less than polite ways, wanting to show what a pervert and monster he was. We did this all the way into the start of the fall term.
Then, one night before the revenge officially went off Angel came back from another 'date' with tears in her eyes and torn clothes.
That monster had assaulted her the same way he had me! Condom, in his car away from prying eyes, everything!
We were horrified, and I wanted to call it off... until Angel held up her phone and said, "I got it recorded..."
OH MY FUCKING GOD. Angel had recorded the assault and who did it! And now wanted us to use it!
One of the girls drove her to the hospital to file the report, while we had the video added to our evidence. I wanted to go to the hospital with Angel, but the girls convinced me otherwise. If we were going to get this done right, we couldn't risk our plot being discovered, especially given my history with him.
So, I reluctantly agreed, only to end up bubbling with rage at what Tyler had done and wanting to end it. We were going to nuke his life.
The Revenge (Finally, we are here!)
The next morning, when Angel came back from the hospital after giving her statement, without the video (you'll learn why) we got ready to go nuclear.
The reason why Angel didn't want to give the video to the police was that they would just arrest Tyler. we wanted to fucking nuke him before letting him get thrown in the slammer.
And that night... was the opening night at our university for the Varsity teams. Basically, a night exclusive for them, to look on the memories of the past and the goals for the future. And we were going to wreck it. Denise was on the team that was doing the set up stuff, so she had access to the projection slides. We were going to show the varsity teams, families and staff just exactly who Tyler was.
But that wasn't it. We didn't want that guy to be able to run. So during the day, we got geared up while slipping in and out of classes. For alibis.
Then, as evening came... it was TIME.
The Event
Denise later told me this, and oh my god.
So, according to her, she was able to slip in the little 'surprise' when the guy manning the computer and slides got 'distracted' (she sweet talked him into getting them both drinks) and slipped in the compiled data. It was already set up so that they just had to power on the projector, and as such wouldn't see the new slides. Until it was too late.
The night went on, dinner, drinks, music, until the head of varsity got up and began the presentation...
Until our little surprise kicked in.
And, of course, the guy in charge of the laptop couldn't stop it as he was 'occupied' (Denise didn't tell me what she did).
So, everyone there not only got to see the slides continued automatically, showing off all of Tyler's sexting as he was 'dating; Angel, but the now coup de grâce of it all.
Everyone there got to see the 'accidentally' taken video of Tyler assaulting poor Angel.
Denise told me she couldn't even look at the screen (I don't blame her. I still can't believe Angel had recorded that and then wanted us to use it), so she watched the group. Disgust, horror, nausea and shock were what she told me the reactions were, a lot of people getting sick (and someone finallyrunning to unplug the projector, but the damage was done).
Tyler, apparently, had gone completely white and horrified, before slipping out. Apparently trying to escape as rage finally started to set in.
Too bad for him he wasn't going anywhere.
The Vandalism
Remember when I typed about how the rest of us girls were going to keep him from running?
Well, Tyler had once driven a very nice car. Note that I said 'once'.
This douche had parked his car in an area out of view of surveillance, my guess being he planned to do to another girl what he did to Angel, which makes my skin crawl at the idea that he's done this a lot before. But, this worked to our advantage.
Dressed in all black with gloves, hell one of the girls going out and getting black full face ski masks, we set out to vandalize his car. Angel and another of our friends stayed at her residence to keep up an alibi, while one of my roommates stayed home as well. We were well planned and organized female furies.
Needless to say, I took extreme pleasure in painting 'RAPIST' on the driver's side of his car with a mix of red paint and brake fluid. For those of you who don't know, brake fluid can be extremely corrosive on a car's paint, and really hard to cover up. I wanted to make sure that word was on his car for as long as possible.
The other girls slashed his tires, keyed his siding, did their own graffiti, and one even managed to open the front hood to get at the engine and cut several wires. The only part untouched was the inside. To preserve any potential evidence.
As we were almost done, one of the girls got a call from Denise. Not to pick up, but so there was no message trail... and a warning to get out of there. We booked it, only I turned back and threw the remaining brake fluid and paint mix that was already corroding in front of the car in a nice thick puddle before fleeing with the bucket and paintbrush evidence. Yes, we broke the law, but by god, did I feel great.
We hid as Tyler eventually came sprinting out, running to his car. He barely had time to take in the damage to his car before his nice shoes slipped in the corroded brake fluid and red paint mix, sending him onto his back and getting it all over him.
I relished watching my rapist suffer as he moaned in pain, managing to sit up only to scream when he made out what had been done to his car. He ended up sitting there dumfounded until campus police found him and dragged him off.
When the girls and I regrouped at the unit I lived in, I broke down into tears again when Denise said that Tyler was being charged for rape and assault, as well as being kicked off the varsity team. Finally, after so long that monster was finally going away.
The Aftermath
The university ended up paying thousands to keep the case under wraps, not wanting their reputation or their varsity team's reputation ruined. Angel went out to testify, and while omitting our plot told of how she had gotten her phone out to take a selfie with him as proof to her friends (us) that she was dating him, only to accidentally have it go to video and then record when he attacked her. The sexting evidence collected was also used against him, as the site actually recorded it so their was a record, and the dumbass used his actual email address, so he couldn't lie out of it.
Then, my file was brought up as well, and then he got another rape charge against him. I never did take the stand though, instead just giving a written statement because I was so shaken by that point because of all the surfacing memories.
Eventually, Tyler was convicted of first degree rape, attempted rape (mine, sadly), as well as a few other charges. Turned out he had illegal substances in the glove box of his car. Then, assault of a court official when he tried to attack the judge. He got sentenced to a long, longtime without possibility of parole.
But finally, finally, the monster who haunted my dreams was sent to jail, and I was free. Tyler's life was nuked and now I could finally live without fear.
Thank you all so much for sticking out this far, even through the horrible parts. I wanted to share this for a long time, but wanted to wait until the court thing was past. I also didn't want to get in trouble for sharing this, especially given my friends and I did do some illegal stuff to get Tyler locked away. It's been a few years since then, and I'm still friends with them, and finally decided to share this revenge on my private reddit account. I will admit I did change a few details for privacy and anonymity, but this is basically what happened. He raped me, ended up being on the varsity team of the university I was at, and only escalated in his attacks. In return, my friends led by Denise ended up planning how to screw him over royally, cat fishing him and Angel even unintentionally being assaulted and recording it to use against him. Now, he's in jail for a very long time and I'm finally free of him.
And trust me, writing this wasn't easy. I had to write it out several times as I'm still shaking from remembering. And I was posting at an extremely late hour, only because I can't sleep. I don't care about anything really... I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you.
Notes: Just wanted to quickly point this out as a reminder; I still have chronic obesity. It's a thing, and it doesn't matter how much exercise you do, your body still tries to gain the weight back, so it becomes a balance between muscles and fat. But when I was barely eating I literally starved myself, turning into skin, bones, and the fat my body refused to let go of.
And, I was a loner because I lacked, and still lack, social skills. I may have done all of that, but I didn't try to interact with anyone. I was a loner at school as I hated it, feeling trapped. That was on me then. And I wasn't a badass. I got into trouble with those fights in middle/high school, and while I was proud of that reputation then, I literally broke into pieces by what Tyler did. I am still picking up pieces and now carry a damn switch knife on me for defence. I'm now as paranoid as fuck about everything people do. My life was almost ruined and I'm still feeling it today. But by god, it felt like a weight was lifted when we ruined his car and his future. It's a rush I'll never forget.
Also, this wasn't my revenge plan. Full credit goes to Denise. And for Angel, we never expected it to go that far, and I still feel guilty about it, even now. I don't think I will ever stop feeling guilty. But Angel is more of a champ than I will ever be, and we were taking therapy together after for a while until the pandemic.
But if you want to believe it or not, I don't give a fuck. Take it with a grain of salt, or just whatever. I don't care, and I'm not going to give more information than what I have for privacy, This was just me getting this out of my system as the anniversary of when the revenge came to its head. Thank you.
TL;DR: Bully in high school turns my school life into hell because I stood up for another girl, and then before he leaves the school rapes me in my senior year, getting away with it. My life spirals and I almost take my life before a kind teacher and class helps pull me out. In university that same bully is on the varsity football team and I end up breaking down with my friends. They come up with a plan to ruin his life, and succeed and beyond. His car is wrecked and he's outed as a perverted monster, one of my friends getting raped in the process of the set up but managing to record it and wanting to use it against him. In the end, the university keeps it under wraps to protect reputations and the bully gets his life screwed over and locked in the slammer.
Edit 2: To clarify to some commenters...
  1. we had no idea Tyler would go that far
  2. Angel is a survivor. She had a narcissistic step Dad, and fought her way to where she is today. I owe her and Denise everything, and I feel fucking GUILTY that she went through that for me. That she was willing to use that video as proof... god, I wish that she didn't put herself in that position!
  3. I suck at taking care of myself. And my brain, well, ever hear of Autism? It still, to this day, cannot compute what I went through. I didn't even get the diagnosis until much, much later. And to be honest, I try to pretend that it never happened.
  4. Go ahead and bitch about this. Show the world what you think. Just remember, be careful who you accuse. As one day, someone will be willing to shove the evidence down your throat and make a fool out of you. So go ahead. Bitch, moan, and harass behind the safety of your computer.
Just pray that you don't have it come back to bite your ass.
And 5. Trust me, every day I wish that this was nothing more than a dream. That it never happened. But it did, and I'm not the only one who went through something like this. Probably only one of the few who was able to get the guy dealt with, even if it took a few years of him scot free. Sadly, majority of the time, the rape goes unreported and even unresolved, due to lack of evidence or even the victim being shamed. It's the harsh reality women and men alike ahem to live with sadly. And it sucks.
And as for the lack of evidence, Tyler... oh god, he just pinned me, kept my from touching him and... yeah. Oh god... I still remember. He knew exactly what he was doing... oh how I pray he didn't rape anyone else!
submitted by EpicWinterWolf to RegularRevenge [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 20:40 JosieCat24 I Quit My Temp Job on My First Day, Here's Why

Okay, so I know it sounds bad.
I don't consider myself to be flaky, but I mustered up some courage and quit this temp assignment just minutes before my first shift.
You may think it was stupidity I mustered up rather than courage, and I won't blame you for seeing it that way.
Here's what happened:
I have never worked for a temp agency before. I'm currently a full-time senior in college and also a victim's advocate volunteer with my local district attorney's office. I was looking for a job so I could pay my tuition this term, (I made too much last year to get financial aid) so a temp job seemed like a good option for the time being. I have some money saved, but lost my job due to Covid back in August, so my savings are being depleted.
So I interviewed with a temp agency, a "good" one according to reviews. I was offered an administrative assistant position for a real estate company just last Monday, with a start date of Tuesday the following week (which is today, 9/29). That whole week after getting the offer, I didn't hear anything about my first day -- what is the required attire? Where is the office located, exactly? Who am I meeting with? What is my start and end time? You know, literally everything I needed to know.
As someone who has been a manager before, I know the bare, and I mean BARE minimum is to at least tell a new employee where to go and what time they'll be working. First days are stressful enough so instructions should be clear.
So, Friday came and went. Then Monday rolled around (yesterday).
The staffing agency sent me an email Monday afternoon stating that they were just waiting to hear back from the real estate company and that they'll be in touch regarding my first day. Which again, was in the morrow.
Finally, at 3pm the day prior to my first day on the job, I get a vague email. It said I had a meeting with someone at their NE building at 10am.
I was told my hours for this job would be 8 to 5, but I am pretty flexible, especially considering it's my first day. However, I am big on communication and just wanted to be sure that my start time was 10am, and not just that I had a 'meeting' at 10am. I also needed to know if starting at 10 meant getting off at 6, or if I was just working a short first day.
That's when things got hairy.
I asked for some clarification from the agency, so the temp agency must ask the real estate company. The real estate company, however, really sucked at responding to my recruiter's emails.
So my first day came, today, and I had an address that I googled (and was waiting for clarification if it was the correct one), and was a bag of nerves worried that I would be late due to the odd email correspondence. My recruiter told me to just plan for 10am, so I did. I still didn't know my end time, which is very important, because I had to volunteer after 5:30pm, which should've been fine considering I was told I worked from 8 to 5 when I accepted the position.
Here I was at 9 am getting ready to leave my house when I finally get an email from my recruiter.
She said that the company now wants me to come in at 11am.
Okay, cool, but when do I leave? Am I working 11 to 5, 11 to 7?
I really needed to know, as I have an obligation to volunteer and would never compromise my volunteer work, as I had told them the first time I asked for clarification on my start and end time.
So I asked for clarification again.
Very professionally (if I say so myself) I asked if I would be working until 5, because I had already told my volunteer supervisor I was available after 5:30pm.
And here is where I quit.
The recruiter said they would reach out to the real estate company to get my end time, then get back to me. Her email was very blunt and read as annoyed.
After an hour and a half, she replied that I would stay until 7pm. That's it. No apology for the lack of communication, change of schedule, nothing. So I wrote an email explaining why I would not continue to work with them, then gave them a call.
At first I thought I was being nit-picky. A typical millennial who thinks nothing is good enough. But then, I got a bit angry. I've been accommodating this entire time, very flexible, very patient, and just trying to be sure I have all the info I need to be successful. I am the type of person who bites the bullet, takes one for the team, far too often. I am bad at speaking up for myself and rather than feel entitled, I often struggle with feeling inadequate. And frankly, this morning, I was tired of being tossed around. Tired of settling. Also, just tired from lack of sleep, if I'm honest!
If they can't be professional and respect my time, why would I expect them to be a good employer? Additionally, this was an "open-ended" position, meaning they really didn't know how long I'd be on the job. Which I was okay with at first, knowing my hours would be 8-5.
So, here I am second-guessing myself. Did I make the right decision?
Is asking for a simple start and end time, let alone a location, too much? I'm flexible but I'm also a human being with responsibilities and, ya know, emotions.
What are your thoughts? What have you experienced with temp agencies?
I'd love to get some insight on this new world of temp work that I won't be returning to.
Have a lovely day everyone!
submitted by JosieCat24 to jobs [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 20:29 sounding-off2021 In a tough situation w/ surrogate spouse Mother and emotionally unavailable Father

Hi all, I'm new to reddit, but I've been browsing this forum and similar forums for hours now and I just need some advice/support about a situation I am in as a result of narcissistic/selfish parenting. (TL;DR at the bottom of the thread.)
Background: I am a 20yoM and I currently live with my Mother. I was raised in a nuclear household with two other siblings and married parents. I was aware that they never had a good marriage, but since they were so helpless and didn't ever do anything about it, I never suspected that anything would happen. My father was emotionally unavailable and narcissistic and my mother was highly emotional and unstable, partially due to traumatic upbringing and partially due to marital issues.
When I was a senior in high school, my parents divorced. (They are mid-upper 50s) By this point, (17yo) I was already dealing with pretty substantial depression and manifesting anxiety, partially from genetics and partially from an earlier trauma I had experienced at 14 (a separate thread needed for that) of which I did not feel comfortable disclosing to them, due to fear of their reactions (or lack-thereof). There were major boundary issues in our house growing up, and I didn't really realize that until I went to therapy recently. I was aware of various details about their marriage and their issues, and I witnessed open arguments about their sex life and other issues as an adolescent. Around the time my Father left (beginning of senior year) I was also made aware of other marital issues that they had, including knowledge about their various separations and an affair, all of which took place before I was born.
After my first 2 months at college, I began sleeping (during breaks and such) at my Mom's new place, which was in the same town as my Father, who bought our family home from my Mother when she sold it. This is really when the toxic behaviors started to manifest between her and I. I am the youngest of three, and this caused me to have "special" treatment by my Mother, for better or worse. I now fear that I am in a very unhealthy surrogate spouse relationship with her, rooted in guilt and misplaced responsibility caused by my Father leaving her, and in fear of something happening to her and me not being able to save her. I take care of her when she is sick, help her with her WORK and I frequently do most of the household tasks for her. She is not making any attempt at dating or seeing anyone, and does not regularly see any friends. (All of which my dad has been doing for a while now.) She is highly emotional and quite neurotic at times, and I am often the one that is obligated to console her when she is emotional (which is always) and I am often her springboard for anything that she needs to vent about, usually work related stress and family issues. One of my siblings is not on speaking terms with her, and I am frequently a middle-man and put in uncomfortable situations when My mother asks about my sibling. I am also not comfortable opening up to her about my personal life, because she reacts in highly unstable ways, including screaming, gaslighting ("I feel like I don't even know you anymore, you just said 'this' a few months ago!!!"), and condemnation, ("You better be careful about what you say about your Lord!") especially regarding my sex life, my conflicting feelings about the Faith I was raised to believe in, etc. She has even threatened to hurt my scholarship for college if I chose to live with my Dad, since I get certain aid from the state by living with a single parent under $X per year in salary.
Hence the tough situation I am faced with. I am out of school right now due to COVID, and living with her entails all the above information, but living with my Father entails a completely different set of issues. He lives in my childhood home with basically nothing in it and frequently stays the night in another state with his new girlfriend and her child. Living there reminds me of my old family life and the house is just a shell of what it once was, and also gives me flashbacks to previous traumas. I'm frequently there to visit him and the split time between my parents is driving me crazy. I also cannot be transparent with my Father due to his emotional unavailability, not to mention the fact that I am venting to him about the woman that he left for some of these reasons. His narcissism makes him unable to be emotionally receptive to my problems in the first place. He is care free and is seemingly not effected at all by the consequences of his actions. He is just happy to be with a new woman (and a new kid, which makes me sick to my stomach to think about.) My older siblings are also not able to help... One of them is recovering from PTSD as a result of an abusive relationship and one is living with a SO in a different state. (The latter of which got really sick of all this and just left.)
I am open to any advice/support. Just needed a place to rant and get some feedback. I am very emotional as well and have Depression/Anxiety and have been bouncing between meds for a long time. This situation has cast a veil over my life and I feel neglected by my Family. Not to mention I was also in quarantine with my Mother since March, so I feel like I'm starting to lose my mind and need to get out. The narcissism on both ends has made me feel insignificant and unimportant.
Tl;DR: I live with an emotionally dependent/surrogate-spouse divorced Mother and my Father is Narcissistic/emotionally unavailable and unable to really do anything about my situation, as his marriage issues/divorce is one of the primary causes of this. Siblings are older and are not able to help. I need out and feel alone and trapped.
submitted by sounding-off2021 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 19:39 mguerreroco I've tried to check my Instagram account, but I don't seem to have enough traffic. Can you help me?

I will give you a brief summary, basically the objective of promoting this social network is to raise awareness among the general public about refugees, displaced persons and stateless persons around the world.
Like us, we are human.
In these times of the COVID-19 pandemic, the situation has become more acute
Imagine someone who has to cower at home to protect themselves from the virus, but lacks it.
I've seen all over the internet that volunteers and senior humanitarian officials of the UN don't have the amount of traffic on their social networks, as opposed to a comedian, model, photographer.
I opted to verify my account to strengthen my brand and consolidate that goal, however I have that little problem with instagram, even though I have 20k followers are still not enough, and I must ask again for the verification request on October 27, 2020. I have until that date to give instagram reasons to verify my humanitarian u/mguerrero account

If you can help me, I would really appreciate it.
Instagram
submitted by mguerreroco to u/mguerreroco [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 19:23 Notreallymyacct50 4th Installment of “You’re not as bad as you think"

Previous Installment: https://www.reddit.com/adultery/comments/j1i397/youre_not_as_bad_as_you_think_you_are_part_3/
A quick recap, I’ve now been in the “LS” for around 8 years. I’ve met some exceptionally fun, sexy people, befriended mostly local couples and an occasional SF. And there were quite a few learning experiences along the way.
I feel it’s important that I paint the proper picture of my wife during this time as well. We now have two children. Both our careers are going great. I’ve made a couple of job changes. She owned her own business for much of this period. During good economic conditions, her business would thrive. Less so during down turns. She works hard, is very protective of her kids, loves her husband and is a lot of fun to be around. All my vanilla friends absolutely adore her. We had a tradition of taking a couple of family vacations during the year and then once a year a couples only trip. Our couples trips took us to tropical locales with beautiful beach and if there was a clothing options beach available, we were there. Like I said she was super cool, fun, sexy but, I wanted more. Oh, by the way, early in our marriage I was the primary “bread winner”. We bought our first home based upon my earnings. Later as her business began to boom, we built our dream home on some acreage just outside the city. During this time, I did well but, was more of an insurance provider. It never affected my ego and never was an issue for us. I just felt you needed the full picture.
Because of the addition of a second child and how ideal my homelife was, I was again questioning my reasoning for engaging in LS activities. As I mentioned in part 3, part of the issue is I wasn’t having as much fun. The concept was still exciting, but the actual act didn’t always live up. My performance or worry about my performance was becoming a mental stumbling block. I’d take a little break but, would find myself back on the sites. It was during this time, I was contact by what appear to be a SF on one of the sites. I was always hesitant to meet SFs because I’d heard horror stories of the elusive unicorn and how kray kray some of them are. Based upon her profile I felt comfortable meeting her. It turned out she was part of a triad or what would now be called a throuple. We met for lunch and hit it off great. I loved hearing about how she became part of another couple’s life. We made a date for the following week to play at her place. I still had a company phone, so it was not a problem for us to freely communicate prior to our playdate. She was great to talk to. The date comes and we play. But, once again my performance wasn’t up to my standards. I felt comfortable talking to her about it. That’s when I learned of the miracle pill. And not the blue one or the yellow one either. Her male triad partner had discovered a pill that was being sold over the counter at GNC for male performance. Now, I’d tried OTC supplements in the past and none of them seemed to help. This one, however, had an unlisted ingredient, tadalafil. The same active ingredient in Cialis. She told me to purchase bottles that were dated before January of that year. I went online to research what she was telling me and sure enough she was right. There was a whole underground network of men commenting about VitaliKor. I called my local GNC stores and found one close to a gym I frequent. I think it had 25 pills per bottle. The next day my new triad friend booked a hotel not far from my office. I popped my first pill and met her at what would have been my gym time. Oh, did I get in a workout! I was as hard as I’ve ever been, and it stayed that way. I had to ask her when she was done and then finish myself. Now I know what Dr. Bruce Banner must feel like when he turns into the Hulk. I’m ready to smash!!
In a flash, I’d gone from doubting if this is fun anymore to discovering a whole new level of fun. My confidence was soring. I hit the gym harder than I’d ever hit it. I watched my diet to the point it became a joke between me and my work colleague and vanilla friends. I change workout routines as well. I got significantly bigger and fitter than I’d ever been, and I was in good shape before! Then things took an even wilder turn.
During this time, I was recruited away by a former colleague to work for a family owned business. The job that would require significant travel throughout my region. It was common for me to be on the road 10+ days a month. With my newfound LS confidence, it meant I could take the show on the road. And did I ever. I made a new connection on one of the LS sites with SF in a city that I would now frequently travel to. She was a schoolteacher by day and a semi famous LS expert by night. She had an extensive and impressive list of validations which, consisted of some of the hottest couples from the area as well as nationally. Soon after connecting I travel to her city. She agreed to meet me in my hotel room even though it was almost an hour away from where she lived (big city). She arrives and in walks this almost 6 ft tall brunette with a classic face and gorgeous body. Jack pot!! We proceed to chit chat but, quickly move into full on play. It was awesome and because of my new pills, I’m on fire. Afterwards we got dressed and I took her to dinner. We return to my room for round two. She ended up staying the night with me. The next morning, she gave me a peck on the cheek and said she’d had one of the funniest evenings yet in the LS. Wow!
We continued our communications, however, it wasn’t like an affair in that you’re professing how much you want to see that person again and how you feel about them. It was more like a teammate talking about LS potential partners. She’d review profiles from the site and ask me what do you think about this chick or that couples, etc. It was exactly what I was looking for. She introduced me to other hot couples and I quickly became a go to SM for her connections. I’d hit the pinnacle of the LS. Well, as much of a pinnacle a non-single SM can hit.
The pool party
My unicorn friend had so many fun connections. Due to my circumstances (you know, being married) I wasn’t able to attend many of her events she hosted along with a semi famous SM friend of hers. Let’s call him G. By the way, when I say they were semi famous I mean both were frequent quest on LS podcast. They travel to events across the country and even internationally. Their party attendees were from all over the country. Prior to meeting her and G, I had no idea that this world even existed.
The next 4th of July she and G planed a pool party at a couple friend’s place in a very wealthy part of their big city. Normally there’d be no way I could attend a party like this. However, this 4th was going to be different. My wife, my youngest child and my mother-in-law plan to travel to a family reunion out of town, three states away. They plan to take some extra time on the road. I had an important meeting for my new company and with limited vacation time it was decided that I’d stay home with my oldest child. My oldest child was a senior in high school and worked as a server at a local restaurant which meant working until late night holidays and weekends. As my wife was leaving town, I mentioned that some buddies of mine and their families were staying out at a local lake for the holiday and that I plan to join them. No big deal. All was fine and that means now I’m in on the pool party!
I got up early the morning of the 4th packed my gear and hit the road for a 3-hour drive to the big city. I made sure to pick a route to the house without tolls. I arrive just before most of the guest started to arrive. The house was a modern architecture and clearly built within the last year or so. The living room was wide with full line high end sliding windows that open to square modern style pool. The pool area was semi-private meaning a neighbor across the alley from the back of the house had one second story window that could see into the pool. Fortunately, the shades were drawn on the window. There was a very nice outdoor entertainment area with a half kitchen and grilling area. The pool also had a nice built in square hot tub area. The upstairs rooms consisted of a larger gym area and several bedrooms including a master. Oddly enough, the owner’s bedroom was downstairs just beyond the kitchen. I later learn the owners design and built the house with their “lifestyle” in mind.
Speaking of the owners, the wife was a late 30’s petite brunette that had some Asian ancestry in her background. She was beautiful and smart, a Doctor by profession. Her husband was cool enough. He didn’t quite seem to match her, however. He was in the pharmaceutical industry. Within the next hour most of the guest had arrived. Initially there were only a handful of people in the pool and all of them in bathing suites. None the less, these were some of the hottest people I’d ever seen and their all in one place. Wow! Soon after the drinks started flowing the clothing started coming off. It wasn’t long that every female in the pool area was topless. My unicorn friend had already told me she’d give me the signal when her core crew were going up to play. I recall I was setting next to the Asian Dr. and clearly, she was getting into me when I got the signal. I politely excused myself and followed my unicorn friend, G and two other couples upstairs. It was like a well lubed machine. They knew exactly what to do and when to do it. In some ways it was routine to them. As soon as we all got into the room everyone removed whatever article of clothing they still had on. Soon the ladies were on their knees moving from guy to guy. The one rule my unicorn friend had is I had to start with her. I didn’t have to finish with her just start. Over the next 45 minutes or so I had the most fun I’d ever had in the LS. Watching these amazing creatures pleasure each other, me pleasuring them and them pleasuring me was the absolute best. Toward the end of this first session the Asian Dr. showed up to watch us finish up. It was beyond HOT!
So, if there’s a pinnacle then there must be a bottom, right? There’s only one way to go from here. Next installment, if you’re interested.
submitted by Notreallymyacct50 to adultery [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 19:17 jchukwuxii Getting back together with an ex, especially when it’s long distance?

I know this question is asked a lot but please hear me out because I’m just confused right now as she is right now. Me and this girl started dating back in high school in June 2016 (she was a junior and I was a senior but I was 18 and she was 16 at the time, she also came straight from a different country). We dated until January 2017 and we broke up due to immaturity, lack of communication, and some petty stuff I take some responsibility for. We didn’t have any communication from February until June of that year we broke up and then she hit me up through my best friend but we would just end up exchanging messages sporadically and then just end up not speaking and then many weeks pass and then it would be sporadic communication and then once again no communication.

During our breakup I didn’t date anybody but she got a boyfriend in September 2018 but they ended up breaking up in August 2019. We probably only talked like once when she was in her relationship. But in late September 2019, everything changed. During this time (late September 2019), my grandma on my Dad’s side passed away and we had a wake keeping and I posted some pictures of it on Snapchat. She saw it and asked what the event was about and then I told her and she said her condolences. The next day she texted me again but this was the start of consistent communication. She was telling me that she misses me and such and that she still found me cute and handsome but I honestly wasn’t feeling her at that point and told her that I’ve moved on from that but said we can still be friends and then she said that she still had some hope for us down the line.

She also wanted me to come visit her at her school which was about a 9 hr drive from my school so I wasn’t for it at the time. But, eventually we just kept on talking and I noticed that I was actually catching feelings for her but I kinda kept trying to deny it. I was getting physically and emotionally attracted to her. What confirmed this feeling is that I noticed that I would actually be excited to FaceTime her, talk to her, would genuinely care about how she was doing and how she was feeling, etc. and I didn’t really have any real interest in other girls. I would find other girls attractive of course but I haven’t looked at other girls and had the motivation to go talk and get to know them since I started consistently talking to my ex again.
I just felt a connection that I couldn’t feel with any other girl. The feeling felt mutual as she would also be happy to call me and such and would always make comments about my physical appearance and I would do the same. Fast forward a couple of months, I finally decided that I was going to go visit her at her school but I decided to fly over there instead of doing the 9 hr drive. I planned to go see her in March but the pandemic happen and indefinitely postponed our plan.

Luckily I was able to visit her just this past weekend as this was also the first time I’ve seen her physically since January 2017. We had a good time as she took care of me like pay for our lunch and dinner the first day I came (I paid for our lunch the next day), I met her friends, went with her to her modeling practice, go with her outside to take her dog out, and we did stuff that people in relationships do as we cuddled together while watching movies, when she would show me videos on her phone and while we would sleep, physically touch other (touch/slap each other’s butts, she would jump on my back to carry her when I wasn’t looking, tickle each other, hold hands for a short period of time, etc.),

and we even kissed. Also when we went to go meet her friends and we all sat down playing uno, sometimes when she laughed at something she would put lean her head on my shoulder and I would put my hand on her thigh so it didn’t feel one sided. Before she took me to the airport, we took pictures with each other for the first time since January 2017 and they came out cute as we were matching clothes as well. When I was flying back she was asking me have I eaten and told me to let her know when I returned home and she sent me a Snapchat picture of her saying “don’t go” with her looking sad.

When I told her I landed she said that we needed to talk and I already had a feeling of what it was about. When we talked she was like “why didn’t you leave one of ur shirts like I told u” as she just wanted some feeling of me being with her when I’m not physically with her, but I thought she was joking at the time she said that and then I said I could send it to her and then she kept changing her answer saying yes and then never mind. Then the conversation got serious as she said she didn’t even know if she wanted to sleep on her own bed because she kept thinking of us sleeping next to each other cuddling, and she also said that she was feeling confused because we were doing relationship stuff but we weren’t in a official relationship.

She didn’t really say why she called but like I said earlier, I kind of knew. I said “you were thinking about us being in a relationship again weren’t you?” And she said yeah but then she also said that she doesn’t know if she can do long distance because she doesn’t like the feeling of seeing someone she loves and then they leave and have to revert back to virtual communication and then have to wait to see them again in a couple of months (she feels this way about her dad). I can be kind of the same way but I’m more optimistic about it as I told her it can worth it at the end with patience and hard work and when it’s the right person.

She said she saw this coming about her feeling sad and confused but she was just also really excited to see me physically for the first time in a while and I was as well. We talked a little bit more and then just agreed that emotions were just high between us and we should just give it time and know that if it’s meant to be then it’ll happen. The plan was for me to visit next semester but to be honest, I don’t know if that will happen because I feel like she doesn’t want to go through this sad and confusing feeling again.

We’ve both grown since we dated in high school. I can admit that I had no business being in a relationship at the time but I know I’ve matured and she’s matured as well (I’m 22 and she’s 20 currently). What Are y’all’s thoughts? Should I send her my shirt anyway? Is this an emotionally dangerous situation? I knew the risks of being friends again with an ex and going to go see her physically but I was just following my heart and my gut.
submitted by jchukwuxii to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 18:18 LF_anewperspective Should I apologize to an ex from 3+ years ago for my mistakes and immaturity?

As the title mentions, this was a few years ago, but I still feel levels of regret of how I handled the tail end of this relationship. I want to know if apologizing is the right thing to do in order to get this weight off my chest, or if this is selfish of me to bring up the past for my own closure.
In my (18M) senior year of high school, this girl (18F) in one of my classes displayed a considerable amount of affection towards me, even before we started dating. I was completely captivated, and as a result, we went out a few times and became a couple. Things were really great at the beginning; interesting and genuine conversations, getting to know someone on a new personal and emotional level, and ultimately leading me to realize that I really, really like this girl.
However, the honey moon phase only lasted so long, and after 5-6 months, our relationship became dull. Those engaging conversations turned into one word answers and late replies. Going on dates were just getting lunch, going to the park to hang out together on our phones, and make out. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s just that it became repetitive and lacked the spark that used to be there. I still liked her, but not with the amount of passion that was present in the beginning.
What happens next is where I realized what I’ve done and have felt considerably guilty about in the last year or so.
We became sexually active with each other, and it became a priority to me. Anytime I would be home alone, I would ask her to come over, which would inevitably lead to sex. We would then grab some food at a restaurant, have some enjoyable conversations, then she’d go home. I never realized this until well after the relationship ended, but after a while, I was only craving the sex. I was only seeking the physical stimulation, and moreso neglected the emotional side of the relationship. She balanced both the physical and emotional side, but it feels like I mainly sought after the sex.
We slowly grew further apart, while still maintaining that physical stimulation, until about 8 months into our relationship, where she ultimately ended it with me because she didn’t feel the connection anymore. I agreed, and we told each other that we would remain friends. Semester ends, and we no longer have classes together. After a few weeks, I delete her on the few social media accounts I had, and more or less avoided seeing her around campus.
I don’t know if it’s because I thought I should distance myself from her after breaking up, or if I thought that she’s completely out of my life so I don’t care anymore, but either way, I regret how I handled things, from the end of the honey moon phase to the very end.
Looking back at it, it feels like I objectified her and was only in it for someone to make out or hook up with. There were still good times throughout the entire relationship, but after we became sexually active, I really took the emotional aspects—what I’d now consider in a traditional relationship to be more rewarding and worthwhile—foregranted and never thought wrong of it at the time.
It’s been about 3-4 years, and I’ve had the occasional girl show interest in me since then, but I can’t help but feel that I’m not mature enough to manage a relationship, and that I shouldn’t, because of the emotional pain I caused my ex, along with the looming guilt I feel for causing that pain.
Sorry if this just looks like me feeling sorry for myself, I’ve just been hung up on this for so long. I get urges to shoot her a message to sincerely apologize for the things I never got to apologize for, but stop myself because at the same time, it feels like i’m being selfish by dragging her back to the past just for my own closure. If you actually read this whole thing, even without posting your opinion, it really means a whole lot to me. Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: I (18M) treated my past ex (18F) in high school poorly 3 years ago, I feel regret and guilt. Should I apologize now or let it go?
submitted by LF_anewperspective to askwomenadvice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 17:27 JMichelleK A year (and a day) since baptism

Tldr at the end
Hey everyone, I know this subreddit has a lot of investigators who watch and with every member a missionary I figured I should tell me story. I've told bits of my conversion story in various posts and comments, but I feel like it might be able to help other investigators by seeing they are not alone and help people who go out with missionaries to teach see that not every investigator is an easy 1 month to baptism.
I started attending church when I was 16. I was raised atheist and lied about where I was going for the first 6 months. I finally told my parents and they were confused why I was going to church, they don't hate the lds church any more then they do any other church, but they were often passive aggressive. I dated my friend who I was going with for a few months until he went off to byu. That relationship didn't end well, but that was my fault. I didn't take missionary lessons for my first year because they wouldn't teach me without my parents permission because I was under age, and I never dared ask my parents.
When the ward got pink washed I was 17.5. The sisters taught me once or twice. I never really believed in church, I just enjoyed being with my friends. April my senior year I quit going, I had a school trip, then it was mothers day, then I got a job and started working Sundays. So I stopped attending, we had a senior Sunday thing where we invited a teacher and recognised the wards seniors. I didn't really want to go, but the young women's president was relentless that I did. (I feel it good to add she knew I wasn't a member. My friends and most of my teachers knew I wasn't a member, other members in the ward though thought I was because I attended so regularly).
So at senior Sunday I went, it was fairly fun and the missionaries were there so I learned who they were, we were back to elders. I got another job and turned 18 during the summer. My other job was at a location the missionaries came about once a week. I was working one day and they came in, one of them was still one I met in May. While they were learning some info the one who knew me came over and talked with me. He remembered me and asked where I had been and such. It felt really good to be missed, so after talking to my boss from job 1 I stopped working Sundays and started attending again. After a couple weeks I started taking lessons from them.
At lesson 1 they tried to get me to commit to baptism, after some pushback I agreed to the second Saturday I would be off at college. We had a handful of lessons and I moved off to college. They continued teaching me online, but then transfers happened and I did not get along with the new elder. I felt like he was always belittling me, so I canceled the baptism. They got tired of teaching someone who wouldn't get baptised (I dont blame them) and so they tossed me over to the missionaries in which I was now in the area of being off at school.
A few weeks prior to that I decided to go to church, but I dont have a car at college. And being in a location far outside Utah the nearest ward to me is a 20 minutes drive...or a 3 hour walk. So I got up at 5 and left my dorm about 5:45 with a change of clothes in my bag and a map in my hand. I was honestly excited and having a good time. Until the police picked me up at about 7. Someone called the police because they thought I was a runaway. After providing id and an explanation the cop drove me the rest of the way and told me to have a friend drive me back.
So fast forward and I am meeting with the missionaries from the ward I walked to. They found a member who lived near by to give me a ride and I attended that ward for about 10 months. The missionaries would use me to get free food from members like hey y'all should have this investigator over and us too. I hated it, but at one of the houses they had another lady over and she lives near my university as well. She has a son who goes to the ysa branch (I had been once before). She and I talked and she started having her son give me rides to FHE and he would offer to take me to institute and church at the YSA, but I stuck with the home ward. (This occurred in January 2019)
From January to April the missionaries would call me about 5 days a week for anywhere between 1-3 hours. This was a lot for me to deal with and I was taking 19 hours at school at the same time. When one of the missionaries transferred at the end of March and the frequent lessons continued I tried to stop. They pushed back and it made me uncomfortable. This was about conference time when they highlight personal revolution and so I told the missionaries you have done your job and taught me everything, now I just have to decide for myself and I dont want to meet any more. They still tried to get me to meet with them and it made me uncomfortable.
So I being the mature adult I am quit attending my family ward and started attending the YSA. Apparently there was some fallout the missionaries received from the ward mission leader but I couldn't take it. After a few weeks I agreed to have lessons but only once a week for a max of an hour.
When school ended and I went home I continued to attend the YSA. I went out with a couple of guys in the YSA since I started attending, and had a couple more ask, but being a non member I felt bad going out with them because most of them didnt know.
I moved back to school in August 2019 and although I had a car I continued riding with the one guy. He started asking when I was going walking so he could walk with me. We went to a couple of game nights at our friends house and in early September he asked me to be his girlfriend, even knowing I was a non member. By this point I was 19 and had been attending for 2.5 years, I realized I have learned all I can but if I had the gift of the holy ghost I might be able to progress. So I decided I wanted to get baptized.
Problem, I dont have faith. And I wanted to get baptized in the family ward near where I go to school because they had elders and the ysa had sisters and sisters really got on my nerves by always hugging me and saying how awesome I am and stuff like that. However the elders were like district leaders or zone leaders or something like that, which meant the APs had to interview me. But the APs were 3 hours away and they didn't think I was worth wasting the miles on because I didnt have faith. (That one made me salty, I had actually known one of them though, never taught me, but I had met him a couple times).
So this meant if I wanted to get baptized I had to be interviewed by the mission president. Now that was really anxiety inducing for me. So we set up a date for me, my boyfriend, and the elders to all go up to the mission home so I could be interviewed. We went and the guy didnt ask me any questions, I guess the missionaries had told him about me and my story, so he just talked to me. I don't think I said more then a couple sentences the whole time. He would say things like now if you didn't have faith why would you try and walk to church and stuff like that. At the end he said I think you have faith,so how about we get you baptized.
We got a date set for the Saturday a week before conference. My then boyfriend (now fiance) baptized me. The branch president from the YSA came along with a few of my friends from each of the wards and branches I had attended. The missionaries hadnt talked to me at all the week of my baptism. Which heads up to future missionaries, don't do that! I was lucky I thought to bring a towel and my boyfriend told me to bring a change of underwear.
So fast forward to now. What has changed?
Well I got engaged last December and we are hoping to get married in June. I am both the linger longer coordinator and relief society assistant Secretary in my YSA (not that I have done either of those for over 6 months now). I did baptisms for the dead once, that recommend was another where I gave my answer and the branch president interpreted it how he thought I was. I still have many doubts and I don't have faith, but I also don't feel the spirit either. My fiance is hopeful things will get better after we are married, because I will be out of my parents house during breaks from school. My family doesnt know I joined, but they are still just passive aggressive about religion and the lds church. They ask me questions like "have you even seen your fiance's back before I know you went swimming but doesn't he have to wear his Mormon underwear all the time?" And stuff like that.
I read my scriptures daily, but I havent taken the sacrament in 6 months. Some days are harder then others, some things members of the church say and do really aggregate me and make me regret being in the same religion. But I love my fiance and trust him. This church has helped him so much and I hope that when we are married I will be better at feeling the spirit and seeing God's hand in my life.
Tldr: Investigated for 2.5 years, met with infinitely many missionaries, tried walking to church and got picked up by police, fought with the missionaries, was mature and ran away from my problems, got a boyfriend, got baptized with hopes of the spirit helping me, got engaged, still dont really feel the spirit but am hopeful things will improve when I get married
submitted by JMichelleK to latterdaysaints [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 16:38 ModeratorsOfArmenia Azerbaijan launches wide scale attack against Artsakh [Megathread 3]

Կարևոր հայտարարություն

MoD urges civilians not to post photos/audios/videos or any type of information about the movement of vehicles transporting Armenian fighters to the front lines. The adversary meticulously scans social media for such information and uses it to determine the type, color, location and direction of such vehicles.
By publishing such videos, you're risking the lives of our servicemen.
Please abide by the text of the sidebar and refrain from any incendiary expressions especially calls for violence or hate speech. Please help the mod team and report any offending content you find. Thank you.
Disclaimer: Due to the nature of the conflict only official sources provide information and fog of war exists. Further analysis is carried out by third parties. Other third parties gather this information and present them on their own terms, including media and ordinary people. It goes without saying that information emanating from official sources should be taken for what they are and not be treated as being independent news.
Previous megathread 2: /armenia/comments/j19ev2/azerbaijan_launches_wide_scale_attack_against/
Previous megathread 1: /armenia/comments/j0kxja/megathread_attack_on_artsakh_september_2020/
David's concise and detailed wrap up of the developing war:
Consider supporting David for putting so much effort into these: https://www.patreon.com/ar_david_hh
Donation::
Method 1:
Post by the #2 official at the Diaspora High Commissioners Office:
https://www.facebook.com/sara.anjargolian/posts/10158231569251359
Basically, the important takeaway is that you can just log into Paypal directly and send money to [email protected] and you won't have to deal with the Armeniafund/Himnadram websites at all.
Method 2:
Minister of Territorial Administration and Development of Armenia Suren Papikyan's message where he mentions how to donate:
You can do paypal or you can use the website on hamahaykakan.
https://www.facebook.com/papikyan.suren/posts/1391228174419380
https://www.himnadram.org/en
Links to official sources:
Links to analysts and experts:
What is all this about?
(in backwards chronological order)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/July_2020_Armenian–Azerbaijani_clashes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_Nagorno-Karabakh_clashes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nagorno-Karabakh_conflict
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armenian%E2%80%93Azerbaijani_War
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Artsakh
Is there a neutral narrative of the conflict?
Recently the UK based Conciliation Resources released a documentary jointly produced by Armenian and Azerbaijani journalists. This is agreed to be the most neutral account of the conflict ever made, you can watch it online here: https://www.c-r.org/news-and-insight/film-parts-circle-history-karabakh-conflict
Black Garden: Armenia and Azerbaijan through Peace and War by Thomas de Waal is agreed to be the best book on the conflict: https://nyupress.org/9780814760321/black-garden/
Is there a peace plan?
Azerbaijan and the Armenian side have agreed in principle to the settlement process mediated by the OSCE Minsk Group co-chaired by the US, Russia and France with a mandate from the UN, which since 2009 has consisted of the following proposal:
The ministers of the US, France, and Russia presented a preliminary version of the Basic Principles for a settlement to Armenia and Azerbaijan in November 2007 in Madrid.
The Basic Principles reflect a reasonable compromise based on the Helsinki Final Act principles of Non-Use of Force, Territorial Integrity, and the Equal Rights and Self-Determination of Peoples.
The Basic Principles call for inter alia:
  • return of the territories surrounding Nagorno-Karabakh to Azerbaijani control;
  • an interim status for Nagorno-Karabakh providing guarantees for security and self-governance;
  • a corridor linking Armenia to Nagorno-Karabakh;
  • future determination of the final legal status of Nagorno-Karabakh through a legally binding expression of will;
  • the right of all internally displaced persons and refugees to return to their former places of residence; and
  • international security guarantees that would include a peacekeeping operation.
The endorsement of these Basic Principles by Armenia and Azerbaijan will allow the drafting of a comprehensive settlement to ensure a future of peace, stability, and prosperity for Armenia and Azerbaijan and the broader region.
However there has been no meaningful progress in the negotiations, meanwhile the mediating group focusing on containing the conflict proposed to harden the ceasefire regime following the 2016 April "four day war" as well as following the Armenian revolution of 2018 made a proposal to the sides to prepare the populations for peace.
Thomas de Waal:
Russia, the US and the EU have enough tools to contain both sides, but they have neither the time, nor the energy, nor the desire to try to force Armenia and Azerbaijan to conclude peace, let alone send peacekeepers who will have to monitor the implementation of the agreement.
Sergey Markedonov (Carnegie Moscow Center):
Russia is well aware that the search for compromises is the business of the Armenian and Azerbaijani sides. They are not ready for this, but no one will do this work for them.
Sources:
https://www.osce.org/mg/51152
http://www.osce.org/mg/240316
https://www.osce.org/minsk-group/409220
https://www.crisisgroup.org/content/nagorno-karabakh-conflict-visual-explainer
https://np.reddit.com/armenia/comments/hv1ost/thomas_de_waal_the_situation_is_changing_very/fyr17gk/
https://np.reddit.com/armenia/comments/hvqwef/combining_roles_what_does_the_new/
What disinformation is prevalent about this conflict?
One of the most entrenched disinformations is that pertaining to the nature of the UN Security Council resolutions on the conflict.
The UN Security Council resolutions concern with and recognise the invasions and occupations of the surrounding territories of Nagorno-Karabakh carried out by local Armenians of Nagorno Karabakh.
The UN Security Council resolutions
  1. do NOT recognise Republic of Armenia having invaded or occupied any territories,
  2. do NOT recognise Nagorno-Karabakh as occupied or invaded territory,
  3. do NOT demand Republic of Armenia to withdraw forces from any territories,
  4. do NOT demand any forces to be withdrawn from Nagorno-Karabakh.
Sources:
http://2001-2009.state.gov/p/eurls/o13508.htm
submitted by ModeratorsOfArmenia to armenia [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 16:35 tinyboxe information on MC: questions about chances and such

hello! i’ve looked through a search of MC on this subreddit and i was wondering if anyone could answer some questions. i enlisted back in June as a YN, ship date is next July trying to get it moved to June for personal reasons. i am a senior in high school right now. my original plan was to go YN to legal man, until i discovered MC. i know that MC is not widely available, but i was hoping to get some more info. i’ve got a 73 asvab and my line scores qualify. recruiter said that i have a higher chance of getting it after the new fiscal year starts. is this true? is the chance small anyways? i’ve seen some posts that say they aren’t looking for MCs right now because the PAO boards got pushed back, is this true as well? any helpful information is welcome.
submitted by tinyboxe to newtothenavy [link] [comments]


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